Why setbacks are okay
When you’ve been stuck in a rut for a while and you just can’t seem to shake it, sometimes it feels like this is it. You won’t make it through this one. But you will. You always will.
As naïve as it sounds, I thought once I went to University everything would fall into place. I always knew I was going to go to University, and I had many expectations about it. Despite struggling through High School with health issues, I got into University and I remember thinking: my life begins now.
I thought that when I began University, I would understand who I was as a person, make loads of life-time friends and manage whatever life threw my way. The past couple of months have been difficult for me due to personal reasons that have been completely out of my control. I’ve felt so stressed out my head might explode, and I haven’t coped with it as well as I thought I would. I was constantly angry and upset with myself because I felt like I was failing and letting people down. I felt distraught because friends who I thought I could count on judged me instead and subsequently stopped speaking to me. I felt like I was having a major setback and couldn’t see myself recovering from it. I put a lot of pressure on myself, I always have, so when I wasn’t coping, I had to admit to myself that I’m not some invincible superhuman and cracking under pressure is not a sign of weakness, it isn’t anything to be ashamed of and most importantly, it means your body is telling you to take some time to rest.
It’s only been in the last couple of weeks that I’ve realised that my setback is just temporary, like all setbacks are. In my case, my setback was due to something out of my control. Other setbacks can be because of mistakes that have been made. But listen, we are young and human. We are going to be making many more mistakes, but we will hopefully learn from them. If friends are lost along the way, it’s important to realise that it is neither their fault, nor yours. You’ve just reached the end of that friendship -there is no point in getting bitter about it. Life is going to throw us curveballs and we might not cope with them the way we thought we would, but we will move forward. We are not going to know all the answers yet and that’s ok.
Setbacks are okay because you will get past them. Don’t let yourself or anyone else make you feel ashamed for not dealing with things the way you or they thought best, because I imagine you’re doing the best you can. Right now, it might not feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m here to tell you there is. I believe in you.