Things Not To Do On A Date

Things Not To Do On A Date


These are all examples based on my opinions, and my own perspective as a) a woman and b) bisexual, and therefore includes both things men and women do on dates that I don't really like. Most of them are things I've experienced myself, some that my friends have. I have not dated that many people long term, so most of these are things people have done on first dates. They have not resulted in many second dates, and I think that most people can agree on the reasons why.


- Don't just talk about yourself the entire date. It makes you seem uninterested in your date, as it appears you're not very keen on getting to know them. Also, if I wanted to listen to a monologue, there are great plays and speeches that are much more interesting.

- Don't play the devil's advocate, preferably at all, but especially not on touchy issues. For instance, if something like rape culture is brought up, don't try to claim that it's not as widespread of an issue as it is, simply in order to get a balanced view of it. This never goes well.

(Source Google Images)

- Don't talk about your ex(es) too much. Of course you can bring them up, maybe share some experiences, but don't overdo it and talk about how much you miss them. Also, don't talk about how "all your exes were crazy", especially if you're a guy, as it says more about you than them if each and every one of them was "crazy". Or do, so that I can stay away from you in the future.

- Don't be quiet. Every single person is various amounts of nervous before and during a date, especially if it's the first one. But it won't give a good impression if one person has to do all the talking, frantically trying to come up with new topics because you don't give more than a sentence long response.

- Don't just assume that it's a date if you were friends beforehand. There have been numerous occasions where I have had lunch or a drink with a male friend, assuming it's simply two friends hanging out together, while the guy thinks we're dating. Please state in direct terms that it's a date, or things will get awkward. The other person also wants a chance to turn the proposal down, and you're not giving it to them.

- Don't assume that the date will end in sex. First of all, not every person wants, or is ready, to have sex on a first date, or even a fifth. If you go on a date with someone, don't be frustrated if they don't respond to your sexual invitations the way you want them to. Give them some time and space if you're serious about dating them.

(Source: Flora Wiström)

- Don't flirt with other people. One would think this is pretty obvious.

- Don't take drugs before, or during, and limit any possible alcohol intake.


Basically, just be an overall kind and gentle person on a date, especially the first couple of ones.