September marks Suicide Prevention Month. I was completely unaware of this until someone shared something on Facebook and I looked it up. As someone who has been personally affected by the tragic and sudden loss of a very important man in my life, I was shocked that I knew so little about it. The more I searched, the more I discovered. Did you know that on average, 3,000 people worldwide commit suicide every day? That’s on average 100,000 people every single month, and that’s not including the 20 people that attempt suicide for every one that is tragically successful.
What is poetic regarding this month is that it is not dubbed suicide “awareness” month but “Prevention” month. Suicide is something that can be stopped in its tracks with the right support. People can contemplate suicide for numerous reasons. People automatically assume that those who commit suicide are mentally unwell. Of course there are those who are, but what many are unaware of is that men aged 30-50 are most likely to commit suicide. This, according to a report made by the Samaritans, is because of the immense social pressure to provide for family, be successful, as well as strong emotionally. This pressure often results in individuals feeling that they have no alternative because they cannot comprehend not being able to perform their social function, both within the home and in society in general. Changes in circumstance can have dramatic effects on people. Let’s be honest, not all change is positive. Change can cause people to get into ruts that, without the proper support, can get so deep that a person cannot get out. With the feeling that there is no one to turn to without impacting his or her pride and or image, suicide is often the dark and utterly alone rock bottom.
In order to raise awareness, an organisation called Every Day Matters, proposes that Suicide Prevention Month should be utilised to raise awareness and increase education on how to help those in need, while at the same time decreasing the stigma associated with suicide and attempted suicide. Those who find themselves in a situation whereby suicide seems a desirable option need a support network, whether that is family, friends, charitable organisations or even professional help. They should not be made to feel so utterly alone in any way. No one should.
Two years on from the event that changed the course of my life forever, I sit surrounded by pictures of the charismatic, intelligent and hilarious man who left me so suddenly and I often find myself thinking of what we could have done to help him. What would life be like now if he were still here? Probably exactly as it was before, with us living our lives, completely unaware of how he was feeling. Why didn’t we ask? Why didn’t he feel he could express his angst, his worries, and his fears? Why did he leave us in such a way that left us with so many unanswered questions? Whatever the reason, I do not remember him for the way in which he left us, but for the way in which he lived with us. The many adventures we went on, his little quirks, his infectious laugh.
Suicide does not only affect the individual who feels no alternative but to end their own life, but it has a devastating effect on those they leave behind. The questions never stop, because suicide is unnatural in the sense that no one is ever prepared for the shock of the loss. The loved ones left behind will spend the rest of their lives questioning what they could have done to help. Was there anything they could have done? Probably not, but the feeling in the pit of your stomach is still there and you cannot get it to go away.
I am 22 years old and as I have sat here for the last hour and written this article, thinking of all the things I could have done, all the things I could still do, 125 people around the world have been driven to take their own lives. If that doesn’t motivate you to do something about the taboo that is suicide, I do not know what would.
University life can be hard work physically and emotionally. There is pressure from family, teachers, peers and society to appear a certain way. I want to take this opportunity to highlight the facilities available to students in Aberdeen who feel they need to talk to someone.
Niteline is a completely anonymous service run by students for students to talk confidentially about anything and everything that might be troubling them. Their number is 01224 272829 and they are open from 8pm-8am. Their motto is “Listen not Lecture” one that resonates so profoundly with the tone of this article.
I raise a glass to all those who have so heartbreakingly lost their battle with the omnipresent dilemma that is life. I can rest easier knowing that there are people out there who want and are willing to help those who are struggling. Always know that there is help out there. As Mumford and Sons say; “you are not alone in this”.
Ceelo Green wrote a song that will resonate beautifully with anyone who has been affected by suicide (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfesrob8hW4).
And with that, I pay homage to Vincent Doyle, the man who left me too soon. I love you.