In my life I have been told I am such a “girly girl,” mainly because my favourite colour is pink, I like to get my nails done, and I enjoy wearing makeup. But, for some reason I would usually take this as an insult. Why? I am a girl. Why was I so disappointed to becalled girly? Why was I not proud of it?
The term “girly girl” once referred to a fashion style that embraces femininity, softness, and youth–and it still does. However, within society I have noticed that the term has instead been used in a derogatory way. Usually, to describe women as being shallow or less than. Too often phrases like ‘you hit like a girl’ or ‘don’t be such a girl’ or even ‘not bad for a girl,’ portray femininity as a negative thing. This form of toxic masculinity and misogyny deeply affects women and the way they are treated. For example, I went through my‘ I’m not like other girls’ phase, I would pretend I did not like all the material things that defined me as feminine. I chose a new favourite colour, I attempted(and miserably failed) at being good at video games, I let my hair grow out brown instead of keeping it blonde-a stereotypical girly girl hair colour. It felt like my entire being was tarnished.
There is also a preconception that someone who is inherently “girly” is less focused or less capable. It is thought that instead of focusing on work, a stereotypical “girly girl” only cares about her looks. As if she is so caught up in her own, pink world. Before, when I got called a “girly girl” the main reason I would feel insulted is because it honestly made me feel dumb. I felt like people only saw my gender as a stereotype rather than seeing my cleverness and wittiness.
However, lately I have begun to take back my feminine identity. I have embraced my girly nature while still taking pride in my education and work. I achieved A’s and B’s in school and have a serious passion for writing and research. My outward persona does not define my intelligence. A quote from the series New Girl perfectly sums this up when Jess says, ‘I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. […] And I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.’
The truth is a girl can be whoever they want and can achieve whatever they want. A gender should not be used as an insult. And honestly, I enjoy being girly. I am so sick of how normalised it has become to pretend like it’s a bad thing. To all the women reading this, we need to takeback the term “girly”. We need to prove that were aren’t ditzy, shallow, stupid or weak. We need to embrace all the things that we enjoy and what makes us who we are.
My favourite colour is pink. I love romantic comedies and my favourite author is Jane Austen. I’ve always dreamed of being a princess and I get my nails done every month. I enjoy gossiping with my girlfriends and creating Pinterest boards. But these things don’t necessarily have anything to do with being girly. Instead, they have everything to do with being me. Being a girl is so much more complex and unique than what society shows. It does not mean the same to me as it does to someone else. Even then, some of my most basic identifiers should not be something that I am ashamed of or insulted by.
If society thinks I’m girly, then so be it, I love being girly.