As a kid, I remember standing by the mirror and watching my mother prepare for a night out. I was mesmerized by the transformation that resulted from applying mascara, eyeshadow and powder. I always longed for being alone in order to access the holy grail of make-up and paint my face as beautifully as my mother did. Of course, my mother knew about this wish and indulged my guilty pleasure, since it was just a game.
From an early age, children learn to imitate their parents. Girls tend to imitate mothers so that the wish to dress up in order to resemble them is seen as natural. I did it with my friends at home as part of games we used to play, but it would never occur to us to go out on the street dressed like adults. Nowadays, social media slowly replaces our mothers and influences young girls to wear make-up not as part of a game, but as part of their routine. Surrounded by make-up adverts and beauty trends promoted on social networks and in popular culture, young girls cannot escape the pressure of following whatever is ‘in’ in order to be beautiful, flawless and sexy.
I see 13-year-old girls wearing make-up every day and I’m wondering why so many of them want to hide behind the mask of foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadows and lipstick when their young faces are full of natural colour. It seems to be an addiction that won’t let them show themselves without make-up for fear of not being as beautiful as they want to be perceived. The problem with such a view of oneself is that girls develop the idea that natural beauty is not socially acceptable and every fault has to be eliminated or hidden. By focusing on their appearances, girls are likely to develop a sense of self-worth based solely on their looks and how others see them. Those are the first symptoms of self-objectification.
Social media only contributes to consumer behavior, peer pressure and competition that develops among girls as to who is the pretties or the coolest. Female objectification in adverts for make-up and perfume reinforces the idea that a perfect woman is the one who is beautiful. Moreover, following trends designed for adults, children and teens tend to spend their parents’ money on accessories, clothes and make-up in order to look older. This transformation can lead to harassment by strangers on the street as well as on the internet. In a social experiment called ‘The Dangers of Social Media’ Coby Persin shows how easy it is to manipulate teenage girls into meeting him just by setting up a false profile and communicating with them for four days. The results are shocking and go as far as kidnapping and rape.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMhMVEjEQg&list=RD6jMhMVEjEQg#t=1
Teen girls also start to imitate adult behaviour, like wearing clothes that expose their bodies or smoking and drinking, which is harmful to their physical and psychological development. As a result of wanting to grow up fast, my 14-year-old sister landed in the hospital for being unconscious and almost freezing to death on a January afternoon due to alcohol abuse (not to speak of the possibility of being raped). Teenage girls think they know better and won’t listen to parents or relatives. That’s also what my sister thought when my mother forced her to put on a warm coat and a scarf on top of her leggings and short sweater outfit. We later found the coat and the scarf in our cellar.
I’m still wondering whether this event was filmed and posted somewhere by her ‘friends’. If that’s the case, then this incident will never leave my sister alone. Whether it is supposed to be flattering and show how bad ass my sister is, or if it’s a tool for humiliating and oppressing her, either way, she will always be reminded by this unfortunate incident and won’t be able to dismiss it as a silly mistake, a lesson to be learned. It is intimidating and not benefitting to those whose embarrassing mistakes are exposed for the whole world to see.
Social media are inescapable nowadays in a world where technology is developing at the speed of light and where having an electronic device and internet connection has become a standard. What we choose to post defines us as well as it paints a specific, two-dimensional picture to those who don’t know us. Just like make-up, it serves as a mask to both expose and hide us: it only displays the positive face*. Still, teens cannot control people’s reactions in connection to the image they’re providing with their make-up and outfits. Some may react in a positive way stating that they look beautiful, others might dismiss the mascaraed as deceiving and ugly. Girls might be offended and hurt by comments such as ‘you’re wearing too much make-up/you’re ugly’ or ‘you look like a slut’ which decreases their self-esteem and self-worth. The ‘You Look Disgusting’ video made by MyPaleSkin is shockingly sobering as to what make-up does to us psychologically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWTRwj9t-vU
Using the body and social media for self-expression is part of teens’ development, but one should clearly define the limits of such self-expression and raise awareness about the consequences of abusing it and how far reaching those consequences are. It might seem impossible that the sexy outfit and make-up that an x-teen year old was wearing and holding a bottle in her hand ten years ago would be decisive in his or her job offer. Sadly, that could to be the case. Growing up is a process everyone goes through at one time or another and there always be enough time to behave like an adult. Childhood, however, won’t last, so that it’s best to cherish it as long as one can.
*Brown and Levinson defined positive face two ways: as “the want of every member that his wants be desirable to at least some others executors” (Brown & Levinson, 1978, p. 62), or alternately, “the positive consistent self-image or ‘personality’ (crucially including the desire that this self-image be appreciated and approved of) claimed by interactants” (Brown & Levinson, 1978, p. 61).
Brown, Penelope and Stephen C. Levinson. 1978, 1987. Politeness: Some universals in language usage. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.