Nicki Minaj once told an interviewer at Cosmopolitan that she demanded an orgasm each and every time she had sex. Many people saw that as crazy, while others hailed it as revolutionary. A woman insisting on an orgasm every time? Trailblazing. But why?
In this day and age, “faking it” is definitely a norm when it comes to the big O. In fact, over 80 percent of women admit to faking an orgasm during at least one sexual encounter in their lives. Women of all ages fake it at some point, for various reasons, like not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings or just wanting the encounter to end. But the latter reason poses an interesting question: If you want to get out of it, is the sex consensual?
Researchers at the British Psychological Society found that oftentimes a forged orgasm corresponds with non-consensual sex. Researchers asked 15 women, ages 19 to 28, to discuss situations where they were “faking it” during consensual encounters. Even though the women were told to talk about this in terms of consensual sex, all the women described times that were actually considered non-consensual sex by the researchers and experts. This study, presented Friday at the British Psychological Society’s Psychology of Women conference, actually showed that women were more likely to identify these unpleasant and unwanted encounters as just “bad experiences,” rather than rape.
In a world where Meg Ryan’s deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally” reigns true in too many bedrooms across the globe, this news is not surprising. Of course, the reasons why women faked their climaxes varied. Some may have wanted to intensify the experience or pleasure their partner. However, many women recounted feigning an orgasm in order to end the sex. They felt that men were more likely to stop if their partner had climaxed.
As Teen Vogue points out, this study could explain quite a bit if looked through the lens of sexual assault. All too often, after a complaint of non consensual sex is made, the perpetrator of the act says the victim “enjoyed it.” The abuser therefore sees an orgasm or any hint of arousal as a sign of consent. In reality, faking pleasure could just serve as a coping mechanism or a strategy to end the encounter entirely. This is a very scary thought, considering how damaging non-consensual sex already is without victims having to pretend they actually enjoy it.
We’re sure there are plenty of reasons why women decide to fake the big O — But, at the end of the day, rape should NOT be that reason.