Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
So I’ve been hanging out with this one guy almost every weekend and some random days in between for almost two months. We haven’t had sex yet so I’m pretty sure he’s not in it for that and whenever I see him he seems really into me (talking for hours and kissing me goodbye). But I never see him during the week because he’s always ”busy” with schoolwork. We talk about making plans to hang out during the week, but he never follows through with them and hasn’t texted me first since the beginning. But I occasionally bump into him when I’m hanging out with my other/our mutual friends and it’s always after he’s been MIA. Our mutual friends tell me he really likes me and that he’s just really studious, but sometimes I’m not so sure. I can understand being busy but if he really wanted to get to know me and see me, wouldn’t he find the time to? What do you do with a guy who’s into you but always puts his work before you? – Wondering at WashU
Wondering,
This is one of those scenarios that could have like ten thousand reasons why he’s being flaky when it comes to making plans. Maybe he’s super loaded up with classes this semester. Maybe he’s just a flirt and doesn’t have any real time for a relationship. Maybe he’s a secret member of Fight Club and it’s been taking up a lot of his time lately (I also just broke the first rule of Fight Club).
Whatever the reason, he sucks at making plans and keeping them right? To you, he may just seem like he’s always busy and can’t get the timing right. But to me, he’s giving off the vibe of a flake. No matter when you guys want to hang out, he conveniently has some big project due, right? Well he’s a dude and sometimes, these excuses are all that we can think of at the time. We’re not always smart.
Remember this: any guy who wants to make time to see you, will. I don’t care if he needs to turn in a thesis the next morning and is just starting, if he wanted to see you, he would. Yes, there is a slight chance that he is genuinely busy all the time. I have a friend in architecture and I rarely see her. However, in all the time you’ve been flirting, he’s bailed on you almost every time right? Even if he’s super busy, he’d make time.
So why is he doing this you may ask? I’d guess that he isn’t sure how he feels about you. Even after two months of flirting, some guys still don’t know.
If he’s not sure how to feel about you, then it’s time to take things into your own hands. Sit him down and ask him what’s up. I don’t care if you have to have the conversation in the middle of a lecture hall full of students. You at least owe it to yourself to find out what he’s looking for. This isn’t to define the relationship necessarily, however, it is to figure out what his deal is. If he can’t really make time for you now, what’s that to change if you guys began dating? I suspect that he’s just a flaky guy when it comes to making plans and may even be leading you on a bit. However, it’s hard to make that bold of a judgment based on what I’ve heard here. Sit him down and find out what his deal is.
Photo Credit:
Guy Studying