Tired of having to sort out the “nice guys” from the “bad boys”? Want to move up from one-night stand to full-time girlfriend, but unsure of how to do so? Stop worrying, because Real Live College Guy Dale is finally here to help with all of your collegiette love kerfuffles and help steer you clear of any unnecessary drama during your brief but ever-important time in college.
I met this really cute guy at a party and he was sweet, so I gave him my number. We’ve texted pretty consistently since we met, and he’s asked a couple of times to hang out or get together. I am not sure if he’s interested in getting to know me better or interested in just getting in my pants. I’m not just a hit-it-and-quit-it girl; I much prefer dating. How can I tell what he’s really interested in without giving him the wrong idea? –Perplexed at Penn State
Perplexed,
Unless this guy came up directly and tried to cop a feel, sometimes it can be difficult to tell what a guy wants out of you. But there’s really only one way to find out if he’s interested in you or just interested in what’s in your pants, and that way is a very, very basic component of human interaction: discussion.
The best way to find out what he’s truly interested in, be it you or what lies beneath your denim, is to talk to him. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you like the guy, you should ask him out. He might be surprised by your initiative, but I think he’ll also be appreciative of the action. By asking him out, you’re taking away the stress that he (and many men) shoulders when asking women out.
By taking him out, you’ll get a chance to talk to him and find out what might be going on in his head. Does he look you in the eyes, or does his gaze wander? Does he want to talk about things you like, or does he only shine the light on his own accomplishments?
If you’re not sure about what he wants from you, make the moves to find out! If you think he’s going to come right out and tell you what he wants, the odds are unfortunately stacked against you (few men are that brave and/or brazen), but if you go out with him and talk to him in person, you can get a better idea of what he’s looking for. On top of that, unless you choose to go to a rave for your date, there’s almost no way to give him “the wrong idea.”