The average person has 28 first kisses. Imagine that you’re the girl who has had 100 kisses and counting. Guys know who you are, they know what you do (they hope you will do them), and they think you are “down for anything.” Your first kisses didn’t start until age 15 but have gone to the extreme since you started college as a naive little freshman. You’ve earned yourself the not-so-great label of S-L-U-T and are programmed into several guys’ phones as “call for a good time.” Who knew college could turn an inexperienced, goody two-shoes girl like you into a complete hook-up fiend?
This is reality for some collegiettes™. We go overboard during welcome week freshman year and make out with multiple boys on the same night. Think sloppy, drunken PDAs at sweaty, overcrowded frat parties—not exactly the kind of romantic first kiss you’d see in the movies. This behavior continues throughout freshmen year, and, before these girls know it, we aren’t only kissing guys we just met, but we are also going to bed with them.
Most girls grow out of this “freedom to f—k” stage as freshman year comes to a close, but others still live for the rush and fall head over heels in lust with Every. Single. Guy. The numbers rack up, and hooking up becomes a habit. Tucked safely somewhere in these girls’ dorm rooms are diaries recounting their sexual escapades. The stories range from the oh-so-passionate, “I’m hot, you’re hot; I’m drunk, you’re drunk; let’s kiss,” mentioned above to a roll around in the sheets with a guy who makes them feel like a complete sex goddess (until the morning-after walk of shame).
Before you write these girls off as complete “sluts”, hear me out: girls have needs, too. Where else can you have one-night stands, new guys every night of the week, and FWBs who take you out to breakfast to meet their friends? Nowhere except college, of course. Her Campus and college girls just like you open up their own diaries and share some (good, bad and funny) hook-up highlights according to label.
Friends with Benefits (FWB)
The familiar, seemingly perfect, no-strings-attached sex setup. Imagine this: you’re hanging out with a friend when you suddenly notice his eyes are the color of the sea, and his body is something you’d like to see sans clothes. You decide to make a move, and, before you know it, you’re casually hooking up with said friend on a regular basis. You make it clear from the start that you’ll simply use each other for sex and keep all lovey-dovey feelings aside (yeah, right). FWBs always seem like such a great idea until the benefits and the friendship are gone.
A Look Inside Tara’s* Diary
- Name: Frank
- How we met: Middle school
- Base: Third
- Status: Ongoing
- Time Frame: Two months
- Good: He is smokin’ hot and good in bed.
- Bad: I think I ruined our friendship and chance of dating by hopping into bed with him too soon.
- Funny: I drunkenly told him I always get what I want and made him drive me home at 5 a.m. the first time we hooked up.
“I think FWB is bad because since you start out friends, there are already feelings involved. By adding the benefits, it means that one or both of the parties has romantic feelings of some kind. If not, you wouldn’t want the benefits. In the end, someone is going to get hurt, and the friendship usually won’t last.” –Tara
Booty Call
The person to call late at night when you want a good lay. This is someone whom you’ve probably encountered a time or two before and wondered what he’d be like in bed. What better time to “test the waters” than at 2 a.m. when you’re drunk, bored and lonely? The bars are closed, and your roomies are snuggling
A Look Inside Marina’s* Diary
- Name: Mark
- How we met: Frat party
- Base: Home run
- Status: Away for summer
- Time Frame: One month
- Good: He carried me over a puddle. What can I say? I love being carried—it makes me feel taken care of. And I was wearing high heels.
- Bad: He’s not the best looking guy in the bunch.
- Funny: He texted me, “bang?” late at night. So much for being subtle…
“Booty calls are great if all you want is a guy to sleep with as the night comes to a close. If you want more than sex, things can get messy.” –Marina
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Hook-up Buddies
The difference between this and FWB is that there is likely no friendship involved, just sex. You can call your hook-up buddy any night of the week, and he will be there to make you feel good. The two of you can try out crazy new sex positions or hop into bed for a quickie. No expensive dinners, awkward conversations or expectations—as long as he’s STD-free, you are welcome to hook up as you please.
A Look Inside Lisa’s* Diary
- Name: Devin aka Dev Dev
- How we met: I was at the bar, and he was the bartender. We made those “I want you” eyes, and he gave me his number on the bill. We started dating until things got weird. Then we became f—k buddies. We get together twice a month, and…. you know!
- Base: Home run
- Status: Ongoing, over, etc. … ongoing
- Time Frame: One year
- Good: He’s older, experienced, and lives on his own.
- Bad: He lies a lot and was previously engaged. He’s also slightly odd and a complete momma’s boy. He wanted me to meet the parents during the first week. YIKES!
- Funny: He sang to me on our first date. I should have run away then.
“I think that hook-up buddies, although fun, are a bad idea unless both parties involved understand the boundaries and what type of relationship it is. If one of the two starts getting feelings or is ever confused on what they are, it turns into a bad idea. So, overall, I feel like it’s a bad idea.”-Lisa
One-Night Stand
Just like it sounds: one night of fun and games. Think of it as the spontaneous girl’s hook-up of choice. You meet a guy at the bar and go home with him. There’s very little conversation involved, but a lot of pleasure. As long as you are both DTF, things can’t go wrong, or can they? You enjoy yourself and hook up like you haven’t gotten any action in months. Then, you wake up. And sober up. Reality hits, regret fills your mind, and you hurry out of there, never to hear from this guy again. No one gets hurt unless you hope for a “multiple-night stand” (as I like to call it) and desperately text, call, chat this guy until it’s clear that he wants nothing to do with you.
A Look Inside Scarlett’s* Diary
- Name: Paul
- How we met: Bar
- Base: Home run
- Status: I’ll probably never see him again, although I’d like to.
- Time Frame: One night
- Good: He wrapped his arms around me, held my hand and made me feel special.
- Bad: He wouldn’t wake up and help me find my clothes the next morning.
- Funny: I called him the wrong name in the morning.
“One night stands can be great if you’re truly not invested in the guy and just want to let loose for a night. If you’re looking for a commitment or are the type of girl that gets get attached to a guy really easily after a night together, it should be the LAST thing you do.”-Scarlett
Fake Dating
This is the gray area between hooking up and dating. It happens when a hook-up buddy crosses boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, and soon you are asking yourself, “What are we?” This can get dangerous because the guy says he isn’t looking for a relationship but then acts like he is. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want any commitments but also recommends that you both don’t hook up with anyone else. No commitments? Exclusivity? I’m confused. When the guy kisses you on the cheek and texts you out of the blue, you’re in too deep. This is no longer just a hook-up. You will be blinded by the attention and affection he gives you and won’t want the weeknight sleepovers and Saturday morning chill-fests to end. But they will, so get out now before his actions meet his words and he breaks your heart.
A Look Inside Erin’s* Diary
- Name: Joe
- How we met: House party
- Base: Home run
- Status: Steady then all of a sudden over
- Timeframe: 1 1/2 months
- Good: His “charm-filled” façade and weeknight wine/cuddle parties.
- Bad: His crude comments and admitting to me that he only wanted to hook up when he wanted after keeping me around as his play toy for over a month.
- Funny: He brought me a microwave waffle and a Popsicle in bed as a late-night snack.
“Hook-ups usually occur when people are drunk, and they are just dumb. If a guy really likes you, he will talk to you and take it slowly. One-night stands are really dumb. You should get to know the person way better.”-Erin
There you have it—the different types of hook-ups through the lives of girls who kiss and tell. As you can see, be careful when you hook up, and make sure you and the boy are both on the same page. There’s a fine line between hook-up buddies and dating, and you don’t want to get stuck in the middle. Are you, yourself, a hook-up fiend? Tell us the good, the bad and the funny of your hook-ups. Somewhere at a campus near you, there’s another collegiette™ looking to share the juicy little details of her hook-up life. Just make sure no real names are attached…
Sources
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
* Names have been changed for privacy reasons