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The rules of texting seem completely bizarre to me. I get the whole “seem unavailable by not texting him” thing and all, but lately he’s stopped texting me as frequently as he had been, and it’s majorly freaking me out. Instead of being too proud and stubborn, is it a big deal to reach out to him to try to make a plan? Once that’s done I expect to leave it up to him to reach out to me to figure out said plan. Is it bad to not text for periods of time? Is that a sign that a relationship is losing its spark? -Freakin’ Out at Florida State
Freakin’ Out,
The rules of texting seem completely bizarre because they are bizarre. You are correct. If you like someone you should be able to be open about that, although you always have to be conscious about giving a guy space. If you “seem unavailable,” he might decide to look at a girl who seems available. Girls get scared of being seen as clingy, so they don’t take any initiative, and occasionally that might make a guy lose interest.
Not texting for periods of time doesn’t necessarily mean anything. This guy may just be busy with real things, as opposed to obsessing over electronic communication. This isn’t grounds for freaking out, but don’t be afraid to take more initiative to keep the momentum going, especially since it sounds as if you’ve been dating. You definitely ought to text him. Do not, do not say anything about how he’s been incommunicado. In fact, apologize for yourself, saying you’ve been really busy and that’s why you’ve been out of touch. He may respond warmly and things will progress nicely from there. So I agree with your idea. You can and should be the one to initiate once in a while. If you’re initiating multiple times, he’s most likely no longer interested, although something besides a dearth of texts would then be at work. I repeat, this isn’t a huge deal, but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there to get a better grasp of what may be going on.