Tinsel Town’s string of high-profile break-ups has not been great for boosting anyone’s faith in the institution of marriage or the sanctity of a loving relationship. But though the rich and the famous don’t have the greatest track record of healthy relationships, they can certainly teach us a thing or two.
Take a look at the top five love lessons we’ve learned from some of Hollywood’s biggest splits.
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson: Don’t blab after a break-up.
When John Mayer took to his personal blog to publicly bash his anonymously termed “Ex-Lover,” it wasn’t hard to connect the dots back to his former flame, Jessica Simpson. Like John, you’re likely to have strong and unpredictable emotions that run the gamut from anger to self-pity to embarrassment to fear of becoming that Cat Lady — need we continue? We know you want to get your feelings out, and you should, but avoid blabbing to anyone who will listen. Words you say hastily and without thought have a sneaky way of spreading like wildfire. Going a step further and posting those words on the Internet will only spread the news faster and to more people. The last thing you need after a messy split is to make enemies.
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore: Keep your relationship private.
Tearing up at the demise of this relationship is awkward, but understandable. (We really, really thought it was a forever kind of love.) The fact that the relationship is forever cemented in the cyber world is even more awkward. It’s totally fine to declare your coupledom over Facebook with a relationship status or strings of emoticons and hearts, if that’s your kind of thing. We’ll let your daily lovey-dovey tweets slide, too. But just remember that by doing this, you’re putting your relationship under a microscope for everyone else to view. If things head south, you’re not just breaking up with your guy, you’re breaking up with all your friends and acquaintances who lived vicariously through your Internet-documented relationship. For the sake of everlasting love, try to keep the majority of your interactions personal, not public.
P.S. While you may daydream of adopting it one day, keep his last name out of your Twitter handle. Talk about an awkward break-up, right @MrsKutcher?
Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon: A new look is the perfect revenge.
Everybody gets dumped, even the golden gals of Hollywood. Just like us, they probably take a week (or three or seven — we’re not here to judge) to cry, have a pre-midlife crisis and take revenge in the form of destroying every shred of evidence that a relationship ever existed. But at some point, they wake up in the morning, put their big girl pants back on and get over it. We suggest you do the same, in style of course. Bounce back from a break-up with a mini makeover, a la Reese Witherspoon. Girlfriend snapped right out of her slump with some brand new bangs and a super toned physique. While wallowing on the couch with a mile-high stack of rom-coms and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is cathartic, and definitely tempting, nothing beats the blues like a fresh appearance. Dye your hair. Indulge in a shopping spree. Rock some bright red lips. Do whatever makes you feel good — and gorgeous. And don’t forget to slap on that million watt smile. Eat your heart out, boys.
Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian: Don’t do anything before you’re ready.
After just five months of dating, Kim and Kris announced their engagement. Then after only 72 days — the newly minted time increment so aptly named a Kardash — they called it quits on their marriage. Doesn’t this make you feel ten times better about that string of “here one minute, gone the next” relationships you’ve been having? A wedding might be the furthest thing from your mind, but Kimmy K definitely taught us a thing or two about jumping into something too quickly. If you aren’t ready to say “I love you” back to your guy, don’t. (Just please, please don’t say “thank you.”) And if you don’t feel comfortable getting under the covers with just him yet, don’t. (Seriously, don’t.) There’s something very powerful to be said for being 100 percent confident in your decisions. Wait until the time is right for you, and your relationship will be infinitely stronger and last ten times longer.
Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams: Real-life love can’t be compared to the movies.
Though Noah and Allie’s relationship might go down as one of the most iconic film romances, well, ever, Ryan and Rachel’s love didn’t quite stand the test of time. It’s easy to draw parallels between the big screen and your own life, but in the end wishing your relationship to be motion picture-perfect will only overshadow your real love. Stay away from a roller coaster affair, and leave the drama for the actors. In other words, try to refrain from storming off in a heated argument in hopes that he’ll chase after you and confess his everlasting love. Hold the waterworks if the most romantic letter he ever wrote you was a “Hey babe, did you want chocolate or vanilla?” text. Movies are a great escape from reality, but let them be just that.
We hate to benefit from the misfortune of others, but we’ll take advice where we can get it! Have you ever learned a valuable lesson from a break-up?