I'm Missing Out On My Final Moments As A College Senior, & It's Hard To Look Ahead

The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

There were so many moments I looked forward to when I began my senior year of college: getting to take so many pictures with my friends, the feeling of walking out of my last class and exam, the feeling of walking across the stage and receiving my degree, wearing my cap–which I decorated with a Harry Potter quote–and gown, with my loved ones looking proudly on, my traditional post-graduation cake, getting to say thank you to all of the professors that made a huge impact on me, getting to say goodbye to the room that has housed me for the last two years, taking my final walk around campus, and more. In the blink of an eye, those opportunities have vanished. 

Now that I find myself robbed of these lasting memories, I fear losing my friends, whom I won't get to see again until this is all over. I fear my college canceling commencement, rather than postponing. And I fear having this class of seniors be completely forgotten about amongst all of the chaos.  

I worry that living for so long under my parent's roof again will cause me to lose all of the growth that I have made these last couple of years. I worry that I might not get a chance to be independent again until I'm able to move in with my fiancee. I worry that it'll be too difficult to adjust to taking classes that were never meant to be online, and I worry that because of all of this, I won't be able to find a job when I'm done. 

There is just so much to worry about.

I know there's email to thank my professors, and technology to talk to my friends, but it's not the same as getting to see them in person. I know that it will take time to adjust to this new routine, and I know that someday, things will settle down. But I still wish it wasn't necessary. 

I hope that my university will consider holding commencement later in the year, to give us the recognition that we rightfully deserve for all of the hard work we've put in over our college careers. I hope that I'll get to celebrate with all of my friends and mentors, in the place that molded us into who we are today. But, even if I don't, I'll still find the time to go back to my college town. I will bask in it. I'll visit my friends, and I'll see my former professors, to let them know how much they mean to me. I'll go to homecoming, and whatever other events I can, and I'll give everyone the biggest hug ever.

And when this pandemic is over, I'll be the first in line to celebrate what we've overcome.