Who For Real Got That Big Dick Energy (BDE), According To Astrology

Even in the most polite of company, Very Online People everywhere are now discussing that sweet, sweet BDE — that’s Big Dick Energy.  A term traced back to referring to Anthony Bourdain (RIP) and later Ariana Grande’s future Scorpio husband Pete Davidson, BDE refers to “a quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing you have an enormous penis and you know what to do with it" as The Cut so tactfully put it.

It’s a thing that you either have or don’t have and you know it when you see it. It transcends gender, looks (though they certainly help some folks) and actual genital configurations to reach a level of animal magnetism that just is.

Big Dick Energy (BDE) has been applied to various casts of notable people — from the Homogenous Hollywood Chrises to the Queer Eye Fab 5 to at least three of my group-chats. So, of course, my astrology-warped brain had to wonder how it might translate to the stars and my crack team of armchair astrologers got to work assessing the known possessors of BDE for patterns. 

With my obligatory disclaimer that accurate astrological readings of different people require examination of their chart as a whole rather than just their basic-ass sun sign (because ascendants, moons, planetary placements and dominant signs matter too!), here’s BDE, according to astrology:

First of all, Scorpios? They often got it. 

Well, Scorpio placements, specifically. 

Most of the folks dug up as examples of BDE so far have fallen right into the patterns of the understated, mysterious but not in a try-hard way category of celebrity. These folks — Pete Davidson (Scorpio with a Capricorn moon), Chris Evans (Gemini with a Scorpio moon and ascendant) —  also tend to have other things working in their chart that make them like magnetic, charming but not aggro or in your face about it. The words of the day are Understated but Irresistible, exuding power and balance without flexing.

Like the Cut says, it’s “a certain gait – sort of like you’ve got a massive dick swinging around – but also a twinkle in the eye, like if you look right at that twinkle you can see a dick swinging in the eye.” 

My original thoughts were of course that Geminis count too (because Evans exists) but I’ve come to reconsider that assessment because Geminis (in all their duality and chattiness and mutable nature) need something else to push them into the BDE territory.

Like, you get a Gemini with a Scorpio moon? You get Chris Evans. BDE af.

You get a Gemini with a Leo ascendant and a Sagittarius moon? Donald Trump. Decidedly not a BDE contender. A Gemini with a Cancer ascendant or Pisces moon? You get Kanye West. Not BDE, too much flex.

The intense but not in-your-face about it vibe of a Scorpio’s energy sets us up to be enamored, aroused and maybe just a little bit terrified. (The Capricorn moon in Davidson's chart is also Daddy as heck in that placement. Don’t @ me.) It doesn’t mean folks in other placements can’t also have BDE, it’s just a less predictable and obvious balance. Sometimes it’s a different sign combo that just makes sense when it’s laid out in front of you — you clock that BDE and their chart kinda backs it all up DBQ-style.

Like, let’s look at Earth sign Taurus goddess Cate Blanchett or Libra High Priest Jeff Goldblum or Largest Dick Energy Champion and Pisces outlier Rihanna. While I’d assume that an earth sign is too calculating and hard-working, a Pisces too emotional and a Libra is too preoccupied with aesthetics to capture the BDE, these three break that trend indisputably.

Yet, Taurus Blanchett (with her Aries moon and Taurus ascendant) has just the right amount of give-no-fucks, play smart and not hard attitude to exude the BDE out of every pore of her being. Goldblum’s balanced as hell Libra sun, Sagittarius moon and Cancer ascendant gives me something sophisticated, elevated but still clearly BDE.

So who probably don’t got it?

I’m really torn here. I feel, like I said before, that majority of earth signs and fire signs don’t scream BDE to me. A Capricorn sun or  a Virgo sun (lol, c’mon) can pretty much never unclench enough to be effortless, understated and confident enough to have BDE (Timothée Chalamet and his Pisces moon/sex hair excluded.) Like, that is capital-T Try Hard energy or hyper-organized puppeteer energy — not so much Big Dick Energy.

Leos, Aries and most Sagittariuses too aren’t what I’d classify as BDE without knowing more on the nuances of their charts. Because I know and love so, so many fire signs, but understated, quiet confidence ain’t them. They extra, they own that.  

As a concept, BDE is definitely a desirable kind of energy that’s self-assured and satisfying to be around. Doesn’t mean it’s the only high-level, magnetic kind of energy out-there, but it is certainly one that astrologically checks a few boxes for me.

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