You’ve been counting down the days to Thanksgiving ever since Halloweekend, and it’s finally here!
You’ve been awake since 7 a.m., hard at work
cooking testing out all of your favorite Thansksgiving side dishes, you know, just to make sure they’re perfect…
… and reminiscing about Thanksgivings past.
You look at the clock and realize your guests will be arriving any minute, so you run upstairs to select the perfect family-party outfit.
Just as you finish zipping up your fabulous dress, the doorbell rings, and you run downstairs to greet the parade of distant relatives you haven’t seen in years, who pinch your cheeks and call you “pumpkin.”
But no worries because it’s time to eat!
Your cousin passes you the stuffing and watches as you heap not one, not two, but three spoonfuls onto your plate.
But then your younger cousin has the nerve to criticize the side dish you’ve been slaving over all morning…
… and you deliberately move the basket of rolls just out of his reach.
Two hours later, after listening to yet another fantastically boring story delivered by a distant relative…
… you finally decide to make your move.
But on your way to get a drink, your least favorite second cousin “accidentally” bumps into you and spills a drink down the front of your dress, and you just stare at her like:
And for the rest of the night you have to act like this towards her:
When what you actually want to say is:
But everything is okay again when your aunt asks if you want apple or pumpkin pie, as if any human could make that choice.
While everyone watches football and naps, you and your favorite cousins sneak off into the kitchen to spike your coffee and gossip over cookies.
Before you know it, it’s the end of the night, and you walk your grandparents out to their car and kiss all 25 relatives goodbye.
You finally get to draw yourself a bubble bath and sample the desserts you didn’t have room for while you unwind after another successful Thanksgiving full of its ups and downs, and you know that you wouldn’t change a thing.
Because, after all,
Happy Turkey Day, collegiettes!