Halloween only comes once a year, so I’ve spent the last couple of weeks scrambling to finish my Halloween to-do list before the end of the month. While I’ve already gone to your run-of-the-mill pumpkin patch, apple orchard and haunted houses (after all, I am a basic girl who loves basic October activities), I haven’t actually gotten into the Halloween spirit until this past week.
Although some people might think completing a Halloweek is impossible, I just see it as another challenge to let my inner ghoul flourish.
Day 1
The Tuesday before Halloween might seem too early to start celebrating, but if you’re a Halloween fanatic like myself, you can never be too eager to kick off the festivities. I used my Oct. 24 to slowly transition into my Halloween countdown.
While I didn’t actually dress myself up in any costumes, I did torment my defenseless animals by putting them in costumes. Don’t worry—that isn’t actually a miniature alligator napping on my couch. It’s my (mostly) harmless cat, Milo. I know—it’s hard to tell given his realistic full-body costume.
How could anyone end their first real day of Halloween without forcing their cat into a costume?
Day 2
Starting my #Halloween festivities like the basic bitch I am, but clearly my neighbor’s #cat is the star of this pic. #Halloween2017 pic.twitter.com/nI0jaOgg0I
— C Jacks (@cjacks_draw) October 26, 2017
I spent Wednesday continuing to warm up to my true Halloween-obsessed self. After all, I still needed to pace myself so I wasn’t all Halloween-ed out before Oct. 31 arrived.
As the true pseudo-lazy girl that I am, I decided to go as a haphazard demon for the day’s celebration. The only reason I’m not a real lazy girl is because my costume somehow still took two hours to get into—but that’s probably because fishnet tights and leather aren’t exactly an easy combo to pull off. (Hence how I ripped my fishnets as soon as I zipped up my skirt. The Hallostruggle.)
After I finished my impromptu photo with my neighbor’s cat (who’s been casually trick-or-treating at my house for catnip and snacks for the last month), I was coerced into participating in wine Wednesday. In all honesty, my friends promised me there’d be waffles. Clearly, waffle Wednesday sounds like a better weekly celebration because breakfast foods are life (and I needed to fuel up for my Halloween extravaganza).
Day 3
I made a last minute #Halloween costume and finally fulfilled my lifelong dream of becoming a #spider. #Halloween2017 pic.twitter.com/Z5BYRMAgtI
— C Jacks (@cjacks_draw) October 26, 2017
I spent most of the day scraping together supplies to make an extremely last-minute Halloween costume. While I didn’t need to buy many supplies for my arachnid-themed ensemble, I did manage to make and wear it all in the same day, which is a Halloween feat in itself.
However, I still wasn’t satisfied because I wanted my cat to don his own spider costume as well.
After trying to get Milo to rock his own spider costume (which I did not make because I don’t trust my cat not to gnaw on fabric glue), I finally gave up on my dream of having a matching costume with my cat. Instead of wearing his eight-legged costume like a supportive son, he attacked and ripped it. Clearly, he wanted to go as the spawn of Satan. (NBD, I only wasted $20 on a cat’s costume.)
Though this was only my second day of wigs and makeup, my skin was already starting to get pretty angry with me (well, angrier than usual). Thankfully, I have a vat of coconut oil to take off my makeup without ripping off my overly sensitive skin. (I can already hear my skin sobbing because I called it sensitive.)
Day 4
Friday was a day packed with mental preparations for my big Halloween party the next day. As I wore the ultimate lazy girl costume (a cat), I tried to be even more ambitious for this Halloween season.
I thought I’d try making a second last-minute costume (after all, you can never have too much Halloween garb). Unlike my first attempt to make a quick costume, I didn’t go for something simple. I decided to transform one of my old denim skirts into a shimmery modern mermaid tail.
However, I was feeling a bit too extra on the costume-making front, seeing as I didn’t actually finish the skirt in time. I had half of the gems and sequins glued down, but I still needed to sew the sequins in and replicate the look on the other half of the skirt. I guess that’s next Halloween’s feat to finish.
While I still wore my feline-themed garment, I moved on to my next challenge: making jello shots. In retrospect, this was a much more attainable goal, seeing as all I had to do was boil water, mix the ingredients and let them set in the fridge overnight.
But you can’t blame a girl for trying to have it all.
Day 5
After forcing myself to get up after a late night of making jello shots and scoping out all the costume ideas at the bars (because everyone needs inspiration), I woke up Saturday morning with absolutely no notion of what I wanted to dress as.
I still had a viable skeleton and mermaid costume that I could wear—because thankfully I have a mermaid maxi skirt that I keep in the back of my closet—but I didn’t just want to be another basic mermaid or skeleton at this Halloween party. After coming across this MUA royalty’s mermaid skeleton makeup video, I knew that I had to butcher my own dead mermaid costume. (Because who doesn’t want to look like a dead fish?)
After thoroughly annoying my roommates—because I stole the only bathroom to put on four hours’ worth of makeup and a wig—I had finally become an amateur’s version of a mermaid skeleton.
I attempted to go as a #mermaid #skeleton. #Halloween2017 #Halloween pic.twitter.com/aUoXCbBqS1
— C Jacks (@cjacks_draw) October 31, 2017
Shortly after my roommates threw on a couple condiment-themed T-shirts, we were all ready to drive two hours to our friends’ Halloween bash—where I mostly just attempted (and failed miserably) to flirt with the only other single person at the party. If you’re reading this “Jay,” sorry, not sorry that I’m a hot mess.
Day 6
After we spent the night at our friends’ house (because they’re adult AF and own their own gorgeous home, and we’re all high-key jealous), we embarked on the journey back home.
While driving for a couple hours might not seem like the most exciting venture, the Halloween tricks didn’t disappoint because we got a flat tire 30 minutes away from home. It wasn’t just a normal flat either; the tire was straight up shredded. We should’ve been able to pop on the spare and trudge on, but there were two stubborn lug nuts that we couldn’t get off.
So we had to wait an hour for AAA to get there and cut the lug nuts off, which might not seem like a big deal, but it was cold AF. I mean, would it really be Halloween if 12 things didn’t go wrong?
Nevertheless, we did make it home safely, where I spent most of the day reserving tables at different bars for the real Halloween festivities.
Day 7
It should be noted that I skipped Monday, because Monday’s shouldn’t even exist TBH. Therefore, Halloween’s finally here, and hopefully my six days of pre-gaming for the real celebration has paid off. Although I’m not in my Taylor Swift costume yet, I’ve accomplished a lot this past Halloweek. I’ve successfully made one-and-a-half costumes and four trays of jello shots, and unsuccessfully changed a tire (but I did successfully call AAA like the semi-adult I am). Now I just have to survive the hordes of trick-or-treaters and another round of costume contests at the bars. I’d stress-cry, but my makeup is already halfway on for the night.