People are often surprised when I tell them Iām of Latin descent. I look white, my style isnāt particularly Latina-inspired, and I canāt speak Spanish very well. Even my last name āĀ Suarez ā doesnāt seem to tip them off. But it doesnāt change the fact that my Hispanic heritage belongs to me just as much as my European ancestry does.
My father immigrated to the U.S. from Argentina in the late ā80s with his first wife and two kids, and somewhere along the line, they got divorced, and in 2002, he and my mom got married, and they had me and my younger brother in the years following. Their marriage didnāt last either, though; my parents split up in 2009, and my brother and I spent most of our childhood with our mom, who is extremely not Latin. So, growing up, we learned to speak English proficiently, and spent a lot of time with our motherās side of the family.
When we visited our dad, we ate empanadas, learned how to cook Argentinian-style steak, and would occasionally see one of our uncles and have occasional FaceTime calls with our fatherās family. But we didnāt spend enough time with him when we were younger to absorb the language. We never went to Argentina to meet that side of our family IRL.Ā
Things started to change when I got a little older: I lived with my dad throughout high school, and my knowledge of Spanish somewhat improved ā at least to the point where I could understand what my dad and stepmom were saying. But I couldnāt form the sentences on my own. I took two years of Spanish, and it still wasnāt enough. I still felt disconnected from my fatherās heritage, from my own heritage. While I could always say I was Latin, I felt like I couldnāt back it up.
When I got to college, I finally decided to learn more about my fatherās side of the family.Ā The decision actually came from the realization that I would have to take two years of a language in order to graduate. I instantly knew I wanted to take a language that I already had some history with, so, naturally, I picked Spanish.
I rallied through Spanish 1 over the summer and am taking Spanish 2 this fall. Itās been hard. In Spanish 1, I ate, slept, and breathed the language, somehow managing to pass the class with a B. At this moment in time, I still canāt speak in more than the present or preterite tense, but I’m improving.
I also joined my collegeās Argentinian Student Association so I could learn more and practice my Spanish. I knew members of the club who told me I should join, so I did, and so far, itās been worth it. Iāve been able to see what things are important in the culture, like eating asado with friends, having tea in the afternoon, or being ridiculously passionate about fĆŗtbol. I feel like I still have a lot of catching up to do to really be able to understand this other half of my heritage, but the more people I meet and connect with, the more Iām reminded that itās worth it.Ā
It’s been nice to tell my dad about these experiences, because itās something we can bond over. Iāve been able to talk to him more in Spanish now, and I’m proud of the improvements I’ve been making. Looking ahead, I hope I get to go to Buenos Aires one day with my father to see where he comes from and meet the rest of my family IRL. Maybe Iāll even be able to speak the native language the whole time Iām there. Until then, I will learn as much as I can ā about the culture, about myself ā and enjoy the process.