It’s no secret that relationships tend to change post-grad. Whether your friends are moving to a new city, or you’re the one embarking on a new adventure, the friendships you created in college will never be the same. And that’s okay, because with a little help from HC, you can force your friends to be in your life forever. Contractually.
I moved across the country for college when I was eighteen. And through all the homesickness, long nights writing, and petty, college-kid drama, I ended college with a great (but small) group of friends by my side. The only problem? I would be moving back to the east coast, and all of them would be staying in Los Angeles.
Although I was excited to be closer to my friends, family, and familiarity, I was also upset to be leaving my college friends. While these people had only been in my life for a short time, I struggled to think about a life without them. I realized that, despite the distance, I didn’t want these friendships to end, and I would do anything I could to maintain them.
So, I crafted an official “friendship contract:” I outlined the terms of communication, visitation, and overall expectations of our friendship. I knew that things would never be the same, but I also knew that, just because college was ending, friendships didn’t have to.
Post-grad life is tough and unpredictable. And along with the stress of securing a job, searching for an apartment, and finding your place in the world, your post-grad friendships can seem like a big, glaring “what now?” after the tassel is turned. However it’s important to remember that friendships take work, and if you’re up for it, they’ll stay. No matter the distance.
Feel the need to contractually bind your college besties into an eternity of friendship? Take a look at our friendship below! Because, let’s face it, the world is too crazy to face without your best friends by your side. Trust me.
THE FRIENDS-FOR-LIFE CONTRACT
BE IT KNOWN, this agreement is entered into on this day, __________________, between the hilarious, hot, and talented ____YOUR NAME______ (hereinafter also referenced as “Friend #1”), and a super cool, bestie-for-life __________________________ (hereinafter also referenced as “Friend #2”). This contract is legally binding and officially unites Friend #1 and Friend #2 as friends for life, regardless of location, career, or any other factors life may throw their way.
Now, therefore, it is agreed as follows:
ARTICLE 1: COMMUNICATION
§ 1.1 Friend #1 and Friend #2 must engage in regular forms of communication, under the circumstances agreed upon between the two. Friend #1 and Friend #2 must identify specific times when communication is most convenient for them communication guidelines are non-negotiable and are as follows:
§ 1.1.1 Friend #1 and Friend #2 must text message–at a minimum–once a week. Obviously, more texting is preferred, but life gets busy. But Friend #1 doesn’t give a crap. Friend #1 and Friend #2 must have at least one (1) conversation a week via text messaging, including but not limited to sending memes, TikToks, exchanging updates, and engaging in genuine conversation.
§ 1.1.2 Friend #1 and Friend #2 must have a minimum one phone call a month that lasts over 5 minutes. Friend #1 will time these. This is non-negotiable.
§ 1.1.3 Friend #1 and Friend #2 may agree upon a specific instance to FaceTime. While this is not contractually obligated, it is preferred.
§ 1.2 Friend #1 and Friend #2 must update each other on all major events in their lives: career updates, love life, travel, awards, children, deaths, etc. It is necessary for Friend #1 and Friend #2 to be in each other’s business because they are friends. Duh.
§ 1.3 If Friend #1 and Friend #2 are too busy to fully meet these requirements, that is okay as long as it is communicated between the two.
§ 1.4 If Friend #1 and Friend #2 fail to reach these requirements each month, they are obligated to a one (1) hour FaceTime or phone call to catch up completely on their lives. Friend #1 is not messin’ around.
ARTICLE 2:VISITATION / TRAVEL
§ 2.1 Friend #1 and Friend #2 are required to have two (2) face-to-face meetings a year. The requirements of this are as follows:
§ 2.1.1 Friend #1 must coordinate a time to visit Friend #2 at whatever geographical location they are inhabiting at the time, once a year.
§ 2.1.2 Friend #2 must coordinate a time to visit Friend #1 at whatever geographical location they are inhabiting at the time, once a year.
§ 2.2 In the event that Friend #1 or Friend #2 are not able to coordinate a visit (either Friend #1 to Friend #2, or vise versa), a double-trip to visit will be arranged (meaning: Friend #1 will visit Friend #2 twice in a year).
§ 2.3 When Friend #2 visits Friend #1, Friend #2 will not have to pay for room & board, transportation, or food, as that will be provided in full by Friend #1.
§ 2.4 In replacement of a visit, Friend #1 and Friend #2 may coordinate a trip or vacation together to somewhere cool and exotic, like New Mexico. Or something.
§ 2.5 Visits can be performed in pairs or groups (ex: Friend #2 and Friend #2/A visit Friend #1 together).
ARTICLE 3: MAJOR EVENTS
§ 3.1 When Friend #2 is experiencing a major life event, the presence of Friend #1 is required (and vise versa). Attendance and invitation is mandatory at the following:
- Weddings
- Divorce Parties
- Award Show After Parties
- Audience of Friend #2’s Eventual Talk Show
- Funerals
- Film/TV Premieres
- 50th Birthday
- Your Last Dying Breath
§ 3.2 Other major events that require invitation and attendance may be agreed upon between Friend #1 and Friend #2.
ARTICLE 4: BIRTHDAYS
§ 4.1 Friend #1 waives rights to a gift, and would instead request a phone call on their birthday.
§ 4.1.1 Unless Friend #2 wants to buy Friend #1 food.
§ 4.2 Friend #2 will receive a phone call on their birthday from Friend #1 in which Friend #1 will sing them happy birthday. This is non negotiable.
ARTICLE 5: PENALTIES AND SANCTIONS
§ 5.1 If Friend #2 is found to be in violation of any piece of this contract, screw you. Friend #1 is crushed. Friend #1 will never forgive you.
ARTICLE 6: FRIENDS FOR LIFE
§ 6.1 By signing this contract, you agree to be Friend #1’s friend for life. This is an unbreakable bond, a forever arrangement, and something Friend #1 does not take lightly. Friend #1 is giving you this because Friend #1 loves you, in like the friend way, but loves you nonetheless. Friend #1 is anxious at the thought of losing someone as wonderful, amazing, and important as Friend #2. Friend #1 wants to ensure that the friendship that they have built with Friend #2–on the grounds of their university–is long-lasting. Because Friend #1 values that. And Friend #1 does not want to let that go. Ever. Friend #1 understands that this is unorthodox, but if Friend #1 is good at anything, it is long lasting, and long distance, friendships.
I/We do hereby affirm and declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of my rules, that this agreement has been entered into voluntarily, and without any threats, promises, duress and/or coercion of any type.
This agreement shall be enforced with the laws of everywhere I want it to be.
Signed on, ______________________________
Friend #1 _______________________________
Friend #2 _______________________________