As the start of the school year rolls around, with it comes the process of sorority rush, when PNMs at schools across the country go through recruitment in order to join a sorority at their school. Although rush looks different at every school, with different rounds and differing number of days, there is a common thread across all schools: Rush can be an absolutely exhausting and overwhelming process — and, TBH, it’s not for everyone.Â
Each round consists of a PNM going to a certain number of houses and talking to multiple active members of each chapter — and this repeats itself over and over again for days on end. Every day of rush, it can feel like you are literally just talking all day, on top of already being stressed about whether each house will be a good fit, whether the actives like you or not, and a million other thoughts that come along with going through this process.Â
Especially because rush relies so much on first impressions and quick conversations, it can be hard to truly put your best foot forward when you’re already so tired and nervous. In my own experience as a PNM, I came home from rush every single day with no voice left and feeling like I never wanted to talk to anyone ever again (and that’s saying something, since I am definitely an extrovert by nature).Â
This experience can feel overwhelming and impossible for many different reasons, and therefore it makes sense that some people will decide to remove themselves from the process and drop out of recruitment. There are many different reasons that PNMs may decide to do this, and it can be reassuring to hear that someone else might have had a similar experience to you. So, I talked to some former PNMs who dropped out of sorority rush to share their experiences.Â
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
“It Was Exhausting.”
“My freshman year, all the first rounds were in the same day, so it was all the houses in a 12-hour period of small talk, which was so so much. It was exhausting. I also wanted to not be stressed my first few days of being out on the West Coast, which was already a hard adjustment period.” – Maggie*, University of California, Los Angeles
“It Wasn’t Meant To Be.”
“Going into sorority recruitment, I was so excited because my mom has been a member of a sorority for over 30 years since she went to college. Even though I had amazing conversations at every single house … I dropped after finding out I was dropped from three out of my four remaining houses on preference night. My mom is still friends with her sorority sisters; she has also made new friends from her sorority and has many connections across the country — that sisterhood is what I wanted from Greek life at my school. However, it wasn’t meant to be, and that’s OK.” – Allison*, University of South Florida
“I felt like the process was fake.”
“The first day of recruitment was honestly so much for me. I really enjoyed a lot of the conversations that I had with the girls I talked to and I felt like we all got along well. Then, when I got my schedule back the next day, I found out that all of the houses where I thought we connected the best had dropped me. It honestly made me super upset, and I kind of just felt like the entire process was fake because I really thought that they had enjoyed all of the conversations. It just made me really discouraged, and then the rest of the houses I had left I couldn’t really see myself in, so I decided to drop.” – Sam*, California Polytechnic University at San Luis Obispo
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that taking care of yourself and making the decisions that you know are right for you is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Rush can be so overwhelming, and it is no fault of your own if you find the process to simply not be for you.Â
*Names have been changed for privacy.