Walking into Target is basically like walking into another world. Everything is bright and clean and smells like potential. From clothes to candles, anything and everything you could ever want or need rests between Target’s magnificent walls. We’re just saying it might be the best place on earth. Actually, we’re pretty positive it is. Here are a few thoughts every girl has while experiencing this magical place.
1. I should probably stop at the dollar section to see if there’s anything cool before I spend more money on the same thing somewhere else.
2. I wonder how many germs are on these carts? Good thing I bring hand sanitzer with me everywhere.
3. I wish I was still a kid so my mom could push me around on those carts.
4. Wait, these swimsuits are SO cute.
5. I should really get one now. Otherwise they’ll sell out.
6. Ugh. Of COURSE there are only sizes XXS and XXL.
7. Okay, focus. Time for toothpaste.
8. How do all Targets have the same smell? Like, anywhere in the country, it smells exactly the same. I like it, though; I’d totally wear Eau de Target if they made a signature scent.
9. The nail polish selection is ON POINT today.
10. Am I more of a “Lilac Dream” girl or a “Hot in Honolulu” girl?
11. I think my mascara is almost out. I might as well get a new one while I’m here. I’ll use it eventually.
12. Why are tampons so expensive?
13. Did that cute guy just see me put tampons in my cart?
14. Bags of Reese’s Cups are two for $5? Get in my cart, little nuggets of chocolate-and-peanut-butter heaven.
15. Maybe I should share the candy with my roommates… or maybe I should just keep it all for myself.
16. Is that the lady from my mom’s book club who always has stuff in her teeth? Hide. HIDE! Why do I always see someone I don’t want to run into here?
17. This counts as the “necessary spending” my parents give me an allowance for, right?
18. Do people actually buy DVDs anymore? There are so many of them here.
19. Dang it, I’ve been here for an hour and a half. I need to cut myself off.
20. Why are the checkout lines so long? Can I go in the express lane and pretend I didn’t know you had to have fewer than 10 items?
21. Oooh, there’s no one in that line! Go! Go! Go!
22. Did I go to high school with my cashier?
23. HOW THE HECK DID I JUST SPEND $150?!
24. Oh my gosh, I forgot toothpaste! Whatever, I’ll go back for it later.
25. Until next time, Target. And by next time, I mean in, like, two days.
Stay golden, Target. You may rob us of all our cash, but we still love you anyway.