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High School

Ask a Collegiette: Will I Fit in at College?

Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!

What if I don’t fit in with anyone at college? – Julianna


Julianna,

Since many college campuses are filled with thousands of students, you will most definitely find at least one person who will understand and appreciate all of your quirks and interests! There’s no need to worry about not fitting in with anyone, since everyone is arriving on campus for a fresh start, a chance to discover new interests and an opportunity to make new friends.

College isn’t like high school in terms of cliques, although some cliques will still exist. Thankfully, they aren’t as easy to map out like Janis Ian did for Cady Heron in Mean Girls. This is probably a relief for you to hear, since it’s most likely different than what you’re used to from your high school years!

As I mentioned, everyone comes to college for a fresh start and a chance to discover new hobbies while finding him- or herself before starting a career. Everyone, including you, will eventually find their niche soon enough. The first people you meet on campus might not be your best friends for life, but soon enough you’ll find out who is a true friend.

It’s fairly easy to make friends on campus, since you’re constantly in community with others because of dining halls, dorms and classes, so putting yourself out there and being friendly will help you to gain friends with ease. Start by joining a club or organization on-campus that advocates for something you care about or does something you find interesting. You could join an a capella group à la Pitch Perfect, volunteer once a week for a cause you’re passionate about or sit with someone new in the dining hall to get the ball rolling. College, just like every social environment, will have a group of people who won’t appreciate your personality to the fullest, but I have no doubt that you will find a solid group of friends who you will fit in with. The process of finding true, awesome friends whom you genuinely love spending time with might take a few months, but don’t lose hope!

Continue to be true to yourself so you can make true friends who will love all of your quirks instead of just worrying about fitting in. Freshman social anxiety is totally normal, but if you find that by the end of the semester you’re not happy with your campus or the social scene, you could consider transferring as well for a change of scenery. Before you make any major moves like that, be sure to chat with your R.A. or a counselor on campus – it might be that you just need someone to talk to to help you navigate those rough patches before settling in the way you’ve always wanted to!

Remember to stay true to yourself, and from there you’ll attract others who will want to spend time with you in between classes and on the weekends. Whenever you do find yourself getting discouraged if everything isn’t moving as fast as you want it to, don’t forget Kevin G’s golden advice from Mean Girls – “Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang!” Have fun!

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Jen is a 2016 graduate of Messiah College, where she majored in journalism and minored in gender studies. She's a proud Bostonian who is obsessed with tattoos, puppies, magazines and Sephora. She's been reading Her Campus since high school and was thrilled to join the HC team as a National Contributing Writer in September 2013. She became an HC Beauty Blogger in February 2014 and continued to write on-trend beauty posts until July 2016. A few highlights from her time writing for HC included attending and writing about two BeautyCon events and Cosmopolitan's Fun Fearless Life in 2015. You can follow her on Twitter @JenFlanagan14 and on Instagram @jenlea14.
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