Let’s face it, Florida is essentially comprised of three different states: North Florida, Central Florida and South Florida. Still, we all grew up on Publix sweet tea, gator watching and swatting away the state bird (mosquitoes). Regardless of which state of Florida you grew up in, there are a few references every Florida gal understands.
1. It’ll pass
It never rains for more than a few minutes, unless it’s a tropical storm or hurricane.
2. “Extra Scooter sauce, please.”
If you’ve never had Scooter sauce on your wings at Gator’s Dockside, can you really call yourself a Floridian?
3. Hurricane day
We might not get snow days, but we get hurricane days.
4. It’s chilly
If it’s below 70 degrees, you’re searching your closet for anything with long sleeves.
5. Correcting a non-Floridian on how they pronounce your hometown
It’s not DEE-land. It’s Duh-land. Then you just giggle when they attempt to pronounce Wacahoota or Kissimmee.
6. Pub sub
How do non-Floridians survive without Publix?
7. “Did you hear about that thing that person from Florida did?”
No. Oh, they were from the Orlando area? Great. Oh, that town? Lovely. I used to live there.
8. When you mention going to the beach and someone assumes you mean Daytona Beach
Not unless Caladesi Island changed its name.
9. “So I guess you’re never seen snow before.”
Hold up, it snowed in the Ocala area in 2010.
10. Bathing suit drawer
We may not own a winter coat, but we do have a surplus of bathing suits.
11. Lovebug season
No, not some kind of prolonged Valentine’s Day celebration. The most annoying insect EVER. They don’t bite. They don’t sting. They don’t do anything, except for cover your car in their guts.
12. Stingray shuffle
While it might seem like a badass dance move, it’s not.
13. “Yeah, no” vs. “No, yeah”
They might sound different, but they mean completely different things, which can get confusing when you’re giving directions to tourists. “Yeah, no” means no. “No, yeah” means yes.
14. “There’s another palmetto bug in the kitchen.”
If you don’t know what a palmetto bug is, consider yourself lucky. It’s a gigantic cockroach from hell. Oh, and it flies!
15. “Wanna go to Cypress Gardens…I mean, Legoland?”
Let’s all take a moment of silence for Cypress Gardens. Just one of many tragedies from Charley, Frances and Jeanne.
Short for Fucking Crazy Ass Test. Enough said.
17. Hurricane party
Unless Jim Cantore is covering the storm, it’s time to grab a twelve-pack of Yuengling.
18. Snowbird season
Also known as the start of the Florida Winter, when all the Northerners roost in Central Florida from December to January.
19. A pound
We eat our oysters and rock shrimp by the pound. Or by the half-pound, if you’re on a diet.
20. Sweet tea
No, adding a couple sugar packets to your bitter tea does not make it a sweet tea. It will never be the same. It’s just blasphemy.
21. Flying rats
Also known as seagulls. Seriously, why do tourists even feed them?
22. No shoes, no problem
Which is essentially the dress code at New Smyrna Beach and Key West.
23. Run in a zigzag
The most efficient way to outrun a gator. It doesn’t work so well when you’re trying to outrun a Gator fan, though.
24. Down south
Otherwise known as the Keys.
25. Bad hair day
Which is every day because every day is humid.
26. The perfect parking spot
It isn’t closest to the store; it’s the one with the most shade.
27. Myakka Bigfoot
Some say he’s a skunk ape. Others say he’s an orangutan. Regardless, you’ve probably searched Sarasota County for the elusive Sunshine State Bigfoot.
28. Minutes away
No, yeah. We measure distance in minutes, not miles. Miles don’t exist as a unit of measurement in Florida.
The official department store of Florida, so much so that their motto is “the Florida store.”
30. Turn signal
Jk. No Floridian knows what this is.