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22 Things Only Girls Who Put Everyone Before Themselves Understand

Pleasing others is a win-lose situation. Although it may feel good to make others happy, the person that benefits from the situation isn’t actually you. The person you put before yourself gets exactly what they want while you’re left unfulfilled and drained. Once you’re knee-deep in this vicious cycle of wanting to make everyone happy before yourself, people pleasers know just how hard it is to break free. If that sounds like you, you’ll definitely relate to these 22 issues. 

1. The fear of not living up to others’ expectations of you keeps you up at night

You’re no stranger to stress dreams.

2. If someone asked for the shirt off your back, you’d literally give it to them

You would do anything.

3. You are Switzerland when it comes to any kind of confrontation

Friend drama? Parents fighting? Witnessed a spat between coworkers? Just smile and walk away.

4. Getting stuck in conversations about politics and religion with people who have very strong views is your worst nightmare 

Here’s to hoping no fights break out.

5. Pretending to agree or nodding along with the views of people no matter how absurd they are

Why stir the pot if it’ll only cause issues? You’re not about to be on the receiving end of someone else’s anger, despite how misplaced it may be. 

6. You worry far too much about hurting others’ feelings

The truth is that you put everyone else’s feelings before your own. The reality is that your feelings probably never crossed their mind at all. 

7. You’re considerate and polite to the point where it becomes overkill

There are only so many times that “please” and “thank you” can be uttered in a single conversation.

8. “Sorry” is the most popular word in your vocabulary

I’m sorry, is this list getting too long for you? 

9. You are the go-to person when someone needs help or consoling 

They know you’ll drop everything to listen and fix the issue. 

10. When someone takes their frustration, stress or worry out on you, you make excuses for their behavior

You understand that they’re going through something and allow this to trump your entitlement to fair treatment and respect. 

11. You have a hard time saying no 

This inability to disappoint has gotten you into trouble on numerous occasions. But the possibility that someone might think badly of you kills you just a little on the inside. 

12. You’re nice to everyone, including people who don’t deserve your kindness 

You want to be kind and helpful to everyone you come across, even those who have wronged you, because you feel in your heart that is the right thing to do. You don’t have a mean bone in your body.

13. You’ve been accused of being “fake”

You can’t help it, you just don’t want to be mean and upset others. 

14. You don’t get mad when a friend or family member hurts you 

Acknowledging conflict is not your cup of tea. Even if you’re upset, you refuse to let it show. Instead, you bottle up that anger until it implodes. 

15. You sacrifice your own happiness to please someone else

You prioritize their expectations and needs above your own. 

16. You feel like a doormat most of the time

Your self-respect is dependent on fulfilling the wants and desires of others.

17. You allow other people’s perceptions and views to cloud your own 

You don’t even know what your own views are anymore. 

18. “Am I doing this because I love it or because someone else convinced me it’s what I should want” becomes a daily thought

You’ve become so heavily influenced by those around you that you don’t know what you want anymore. 

19. Because you value others’ opinions more than your own, you don’t trust your own judgment

 Your self-esteem plummets when your self-worth is based on the views and opinions of others, which is the saddest result of all. 

20. You often feel lonely because people don’t truly know you

Too afraid of upsetting the status quo, you don’t voice any opposing opinions you have left inside of you.

21. You don’t allow people to know your true thoughts and feelings because you’re scared they won’t accept you

You think others’ opinions are more valid than your own. It’s a true shame.

22. You lose any individual identity you could’ve had by ignoring your own thoughts and feelings

Putting others before yourself comes at a huge personal cost.

When you realize that your voice and opinions matter, you’ll see just how much you matter. You’ll never please everyone, and how you define yourself is way more important than how other people see you. Putting yourself before others is the right thing to do, especially when dealing with people who would never bend over backwards for you. Besides, you can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Brianna DiPanni is a senior at Assumption College. She is currently majoring in English with a concentration in Writing and Mass Communications. She is a self proclaimed book nerd, Zumba enthusiast and shopping addict. When her nose isn't stuck under a book, Brianna also enjoys baking and spending time with her friends. After graduation, Brianna plans on pursuing a career in writing and working for a fashion magazine.
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