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20 Thoughts You Have at Your First College House Party

If you’ve never been to a college house party before, you’re probably relying on movies like American Pie or The House Bunny for what to expect. When the time comes to experience your first college house party your head is going to be swarming with thoughts like “Did that really just happen?” to “I wish I was home” to “I can’t wait for the party next weekend.” Here are 20 thoughts that you definitely will have at your first college house party.

1. “Where are all the togas?”

Unfortunately if you’re not going to specifically a toga party, you probably won’t see anyone in white sheets.

2. “Do I need to be part of a fraternity or sorority to be here?” 

If anyone asks if you’re in a sorority you’ll just have to get by with Legally Blonde references.

3. “Is it safe for him to be doing a handstand like that?”

Chances are there will be someone in a corner doing a handstand while chugging beer and you won’t be able to turn away.

4. “I don’t even want to know what my mother would say if she knew I was here.”

Just be sure NOT to drunk dial her.

5. “OMG is that Troy from High School Musical?!” 

You’ll have a moment of brief euphoria when you think a Zac Efron lookalike graced the party, but then realize it was just the result of poor lighting.

6. “I see no one I recognize so I’m just going to play on my phone.” 

When in doubt, try to look busy by getting to the next level on Candy Crush. There’s no shame in that.

7. “Where are those Jell-O shots?”

You know it’s not a classic house party until you’ve had your first taste of enhanced Jell-O.

8. “I just want to dance without anyone trying to grind on me.” 

Chances are if there’s dancing, then someone is going to try and dance with you without permission and you’re not going to be into it. 

9. “He looks too old to be in college…” 

There will always be that one person at the party who looks a little too old to be partying with a bunch of college kids.

10. “I wonder who pays for all of this.” 

Between what seems like a never-ending supply of beer to the lame decorations to all the lamps that are getting broken, you don’t want to know who has to foot the bill.

11. “How have they not run out of air by now?” 

You’ll be thinking this about that one couple who has been making out in the corner for ages. You don’t want to think about how sore their mouths are going to be in the morning.

12. “Oh no, is my chem lab due tomorrow?!” 

You’ll probably have a moment of panic when you think something important is due tomorrow and you’ll have to find one of your friends to make sure you’ve still got another week to hand it in.

13. “Stop talking to me about something I know nothing about.”

Sooner or later you’ll find yourself involved in a one-sided conversation with a person who wants to talk about their thesis topic or what political ideology they believe the government should follow.

14. “I really like her dress, but I would have worn it with different accessories.” 

They’ll be a point at the party where you’ll just start to people-watch and probably wonder when’s the next time you can hit up a mall to find a dress like that.

15. “Is this safe to drink?” 

When someone hands you a drink you’ll be cautious (rightfully so) about whether you should take a sip or go get some water by yourself. Always use caution!

16. “My shoes are so painful.”

Chances are you wore your prettiest, but most uncomfortable heels this night. You’ll be looking forward to taking them off for the rest of the evening.

17. “Does anyone know where the nearest Chipotle is?” 

You probably won’t actually ask a person this, but you’ll look it up on your phone because you are getting ready to bail on this party for your one true love (aka Chipotle). 

18. “Please stop hugging me.” 

Some very drunken girl will mistake you for her friend and won’t stop hugging you, no matter how much you say you don’t know her.

19. “Is he talking to me because he genuinely likes me or because he expects me to hook-up?” 

This is the question of the century. Make sure you know what you want and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. 

20. “I can’t wait for the next house party!” 

No matter how weird or awkward your first college house party was, you know you’ll be coming back for another, even if it’s just for more Jell-O shots. 

College house parties always leave you with crazy, exciting memories whether it’s your first time or one hundredth time partying it up. Just remember to always stay safe while you party and that you should never do something you’re not comfortable with. If at any point you do feel uncomfortable, it’s totally okay to go and grab some Chipotle. Sometimes the best memories aren’t made at the party but afterwards when you share greasy food and laugh about the night’s events with your besties. 

Alexandra is in her fourth and final year at McGill University, studying Joint Honors Political Science and Philosophy with a minor in Sexual Diversity Studies. She is a self-described coffee addict and Netflix junkie. Alexandra is passionate about sassy comebacks, collecting mason jars, and her hair straighenter. In her spare time she enjoys binge watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and shopping as a sport. Follow her sarcastic pursuits on Twitter @AlmostAlexandra and her obsession with filters on Instagram @alexandrasakellariou.