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17 Signs Your Social Media Stalking Skills Are Next Level

Do you ever wonder how word even got around before social media? Did women really go on dates without knowing what the guy looked like first? Were couples actually official if Facebook didn’t say so? If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, it’s a pretty safe bet you’ll recognize these 17 signs you’re a certified social media stalker.

1. You know when your friend gets dumped before she does

Uh, have you checked Facebook lately?

2. Finding yourself eight photo albums deep in your ex’s best friend’s brother’s profile is a normal thing

Wow, how did I get here?

3. Work does not get done when Facebook is open

Finding out who Justin Bieber is dating is much more important than organic chemistry.

4. You can spot a subtweet from a mile away

Oh no she didn’t.

5. You think people who don’t have a Facebook actually don’t exist

Are you sure you’re a real person?

6. You’ve committed the accidental double tap on someone’s photo from 52 weeks ago

I’m going to act like that did not just happen.

7. You always ask new guys for their full name so you can find them on Facebook

I can’t decide if I like you until I see your high school photos from 10th grade.

8. You’ll let your friend know if her new boy is, in fact, single

Yeah, we’ll just see about that.

9. You’ve memorized the LinkedIn profiles of the executives at your dream company

All about those connections.

10. You’ve been vicariously living through the social profiles of celebrities for years

Can I just be you, Adele?

11. You have to act like you don’t know your blind date’s life story even though you studied his accounts for two hours before the date

So your profile said you’re from Canada?

12. The only way you ever know anyone’s birthday is through social media

Who actually uses a calendar anymore?

13. The day Snapchat took away the “Best Friends” feature was the worst day of your life

Why do bad things happen to good people?

14. You stalk every female IG user who dares to like your boyfriend’s pics

Who’s this super pretty blonde girl that just liked your new pic?!

15. You think privacy settings shouldn’t exist

Private accounts are a total buzz kill.

16. You’re always the first like on everything

Reliable likers are the best kind of people.

17. You consider social media stalking not as a hobby but more of a life skill

Seriously, put it on your resume.

Rachael David is currently a senior at Penn State University and serves as the Campus Correspondent for Her Campus Penn State. She is majoring in public relations and minoring in psychology. Her love of creative writing and all things Penn State is what inspired her to become a member of the HC team in the fall of 2013. Her background experience includes working for the Undergraduate Admissions Office at Penn State as a social media intern in the spring of 2014 and is currently working as a social media intern for an internet marketing company in Harrisburg called WebpageFX. This past summer she also served as a PR intern for Tierney Communications. Rachael enjoys anything media related especially catching up on her favorite shows, including Saturday Night Live and any show on Food Network. She has a passion for food but also loves being active and spending her free time running or hiking. She hopes to gain more experience in all aspects of the media industry during college and plans on pursuing a career writing for a life & style publication in the future.
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