If you grew up with a mom that monitored your every move, college probably felt like a much-needed break. Or maybe you two have always been close, and being home is just like old times…or is it? She adjusted to you exercising your independence at school, but now that she’s doing her own thing, it feels totally strange. Here are some ways that you expect the woman who brought you into this world to, well, have her world revolve around you.
1. You look forward to a home-cooked meal…every meal.
It’s gotten so bad that she actually gives you money for takeout.
2. You’re insulted when she doesn’t like your posts on social media.
How can she like a picture of a dog dressed as a pumpkin, but not your #nofilter selfie?
3. You assume she’ll gladly do your laundry, wash your bed sheets, and clean up after you.
Reality check: your mother may hate messes, but she’s not your personal maid.
4. You fill her in on every detail of your day, without waiting for her to ask.
Her eyes are looking more glazed than a donut, but of course she’s paying attention to what you’re saying!
5. If she doesn’t answer your calls or texts right away, you get worried.
If she sees your name pop up on her phone, she should respond immediately.
6. But if she doesn’t return your calls or texts at all, you get pissed.
How dare she ignore all the eggplant emojis you sent her while grocery shopping.
7. You’re surprised when she makes plans without telling you.
Wait, you didn’t give her permission to have a life.
8. You’re also annoyed if she makes plans that don’t include you.
Why would she want to get her nails done alone, when you could have gotten a mani-pedi together?
9. If you go out to run errands, you insist that she tag along.
Helping you buy new clothes is clearly more important than household chores.
10. You’ve given her countless pictures of yourself, that way she can show you off to all her friends.
Your school photo is your personal favorite.
11. If you’re sick, you demand she drop everything and take care of you.
And by “demand,” you mean whining until she brings you a bowl of chicken noodle soup.
12. When you fight, you use the silent treatment to upset her.
But it never lasts long, because not talking to her only ends up upsetting you.
13. You automatically rank yourself as her favorite.
If you’re not an only child, your siblings are your competition.
14. You anticipate frequent lectures about dating and sex.
Those talks are rare and will literally begin and end with, “Use condoms.”
15. You shower her with attention, thinking she needs it to feel loved.
Which is silly—she knows you love her, just as much as she loves you.