There are few topics in life that everyone can agree on, but one thing is for sure: carbs are great. So many fad diets try to pull us apart from our one true love without realizing that carbs not only keep us full and focused, they’re good for the soul. Living without carbs is like painting a rainbow with fifty shades of beige. What kind of life involves zero candy, bagels or hash browns? A sad one! A sad, miserable, tastefully-boring life. If we are what we eat, let’s remain vibrant and enjoy the sweeter things in life in proportion. Here are 15 reasons why the carb life is the only life you want to live.
To keep your sanity
Gigi Hadid says, “Eat clean to stay fit, have a burger to stay sane.” We say, “Give us burgers or give us death.” Tomato, toh-maw-to.
Kale is the enemy
I’m sorry. I’m not going to pretend like I like kale. In smoothies, on pizza, by itself doused in ranch dressing; it’s all the same. Not delicious.
Working out = EARNED IT
If I spend two hours pumping iron in a sweatshop, you best bet I’m dreaming of the twice-baked potato coming my way. I nee incentive to work out. Carbs are incentive. Carbs lead to working out. Boom. Healthy.
Happy people eat carbs
Try walking around campus for five minutes without spotting a student happily living their life, hyped because their Starbs is basically a cup of glorified carbs and they’re okay with that.
Coconut oil is great, but butter is important
Any and all questions will be directed to Paula Deen.
Carb-less desserts are…. not dessert
Fat-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, flavor-free, food-free, it’s actually just paper.
Carbs equal beauty
Carbs will make you feel better, ergo carbs will make you look better, ergo carbs are beauty. If anyone says anything about how much you’re eating, eat them, too.
Carbs don’t lie to you
Post break-ups, bad interviews, horrible exams; carbs have always been there for me. I’m not about to drop them cold turkey. Make new friends, but keep the carbs.
Escaping carbs is harder than making your eyeliner even
They’re in fruits, vegetables, baked goods, pasta – you name it, carbs are all up in there.
Breakfast needs carbs
Have you had pancakes? You have to understand, those are gone without carbs. Buh-bye, fluffy goodness. Nice to know you. Oh, and let’s not forget about bacon.
Dinner needs carbs
Remember that thing about breakfast? Whelp, prepare yourself for a hearty serving of ICE. Ice, that’s it. We need carbs.
My mood directly correlates to my carb intake
It’s like pure, starving angst settles in where all the carbs used to be in my body. Hangry is a real dilemma. Let’s start the conversation.
I’m a good hostess
Ain’t no party like a carb-filled party. No one wants to come over for tea without tiny, adorble cakes. Don’t be stingy. Bring out the carbs. Make tea parties great again.
Carbs bring on the warm-fuzzies
Nothing reminds me of days spent baking with my grandmother like a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie. Anti-carb dieticians, don’t take that away from me.
Carbs are love, carbs are life
Going out to dinner with friends, having breakfast in bed, baking with family, late-night snacking with roommates: all of that is basically gone in a life without carbs.
A little bit of everything is fine in moderation. Have that extra piece of pie, rip into a pizza with pals, throw sticks of butter in the air and let the carbs rain down on you! Have fun and keep living the good, carb-filled life.