If it’s happened once, it’s happened a thousand times. You’re at a party, trying to have a good time with some friends, doing a little dancing, when suddenly, you get shoved by another girl. Whether it was an accident or intentional, you’re annoyed. You try to brush it off, but tensions build, dirty looks are exchanged and eventually you choose to shove back.
Then, she loses it. Her friends get involved, your friends get involved and before you know it, you hear it. One word. Three letters. And suddenly, your world is shattered.
You guessed it – she called you “fat.” And no matter what profanity followed, that little word was all you heard.
I’ve heard this story too many times during my college career, and some of my closest friends have been the victims of this vicious cycle. As someone who is passionate about positive body image and female empowerment, nothing is more discouraging than seeing women putting each other down in the worst way possible simply because they somehow felt incredibly offended by a complete accident or misunderstanding.
There’s no denying the air of hostility that inevitably develops between young women, especially in environments that involve simultaneously drinking alcohol and vying for the attention of men. I can’t explain why it happens, but ask any college woman, and she’ll tell you she’s felt it before. I’m not saying all women are rude to each other when they go out. In fact, I’ve had many delightful encounters with female strangers at parties or bars. But the reality of the ridiculous catfights and competition still remains.
So why does it have to come down to insulting one another’s appearances? It sounds vicious, but women know better than anyone what it takes to get under another woman’s skin. We know what hurts and what to say when we want the final word. And when things get heated, we reach for this dangerous stockpile of word weaponry in the hopes of defending ourselves at the expense of a fellow woman. We don’t think about what actually caused the situation, who’s going to get hurt, what the consequences may be or what will happen next. And this is when we become a detriment to our own gender.
Some of you are probably sitting there thinking this is just another whiny feminist article calling on women to support one another so we can all take over the world one day, and though I support my fellow feminists, that’s not exactly my intention. I simply want women to think twice when they address one another.
You don’t have to go out telling every woman she’s gorgeous and that you envy her perfect figure, but you definitely need to stop criticizing it. We’re all just trying to get through life loving our bodies while ignoring the impossible standards society sets for them.
So next time you get shoved by an obnoxious girl at the bar, step back, shoot her a dirty look if you must and walk away. You have no idea the struggles she’s faced or the insecurities she deals with and insulting her body will not make yours any better. So stop the “f” word and start spreading the love, ladies.
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