Another new year is rolling around and you’re starting to think of some resolutions. We all have great expectations for what our resolution will bring, but let’s all be honest – they don’t always go as planned. Even if your resolutions don’t always last, at least you tried… right? Let’s let the Real Housewives show us the expectations of the most common New Year’s resolutions… and how they really go down.
I Will Have Healthier Habits
Expectation: You really want to turn your health around – you practically pray to the food gods, “Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.” This New Year, you will dedicate yourself to having healthier habits that are good for your body and soul.
Reality: Kale chips and hummus are only satisfying for so long.
I Will Be a Better Listener
Expectation: You start to feel bad that your phone conversations with your mom consist of you saying, “Yes. Yeah. Yup. Yes, Mom. Okay. Bye.” This year, you will be a better listener to your mom, friends, boyfriend and even friendly strangers.
Reality: You let the “friendly stranger” in the Starbucks line get too far into her break–up story and now you’re late for class. Why did you make this resolution again?
I Will Drink Less
Expectation: You realize your liver and bank account are suffering, so this year you will cut back on the Long Island Iced Teas. You can still be the life of the party even if you aren’t drinking.
Reality: Watching your friends play a drinking game to Full House re-runs gets awfully lonely…
I Will Give Up Tanning
Expectation: You don’t want to look like the Crypt Keeper with leather skin when you’re 28. This year, you will get your glow the healthy way.
Reality: You look in the mirror and realize that you are paying $30 every two weeks to look like Snooki. Maybe the spray tan resolution wasn’t the cheapest and greatest alternative…
I Will Learn a New Language
Expectation: Since you can’t afford to actually go to Italy, you could at least enlighten yourself with the culture. This year, you will learn a new language, thanks to your dear friend Rosetta Stone.
Reality: $179 later, you realize that there are not enough hours in the day to master a new language. Who knew that the Italian word ‘piano’ means multiple different things aside from the actual instrument?
I Will Get More Creative With My Style
Expectation: You realize you actually have a good collection of cute clothes, you just neglect most of them because you prefer to wear leggings to class. This year, you will let your inner Coco Chanel come out and get creative with fashion.
Reality: You rock all of your long-forgotten sweaters and big, colorful necklaces until you run out of outfit combinations and energy. Coco Chanel, it’s been real, but let’s be honest…
I Will Get a Killer Body
Expectation: We’ve all said it: “This year WILL be the year I get in great shape.” You decide you will go to the gym six times a week – no ifs, ands or buts. You are even willing to try some new, crazy booty-shaking Zumba classes.
Reality: After a solid two months going strong, your gym routine starts to dwindle week by week. Before you know it, you’ll be thinking, “I didn’t go to the gym today… that makes three weeks in a row.”
I Won’t Be Afraid to Speak My Mind
Expectation: You have some extremely strong opinions, but you bite your tongue and stay out of things. This year, you’re going to grow a backbone and let your opinion be heard about everything… even your best friend’s boyfriend.
Reality: Your best friend looks at you with tears in her eyes. “Tell me the truth… do you hate him that much?” You panic and your voice goes up two octaves as you stutter, “No, he’s not that bad.” So much for that resolution. You can’t break the poor girl’s heart.
I Will Be Patient About Finding Love
Expectation: This year, you vow to stop looking for love in places like Tinder (even if you’re just looking, stop). Love will come to you when it should and how it should.
Reality: Valentine’s Day rolls around and the front is over… you can’t even look at couples walking down the street without making a puppy dog face, wishing it was you.
I Will Get Over My Ex
Expectation: You are actually exhausted from spending every minute thinking about your ex. You are so back and forth about him, but this year you will FINALLY move on. (For real this time.)
Reality: Okay, that sounded a lot easier than it actually is.
I Will Be Serious About School
Expectation: Since you are literally paying thousands of dollars to sit in class, you decide it’s time to get off of Facebook… and Pinterest, Twitter, Buzzfeed, Yahoo, etc. This semester, you’re going to actually do what you are supposed to do in class. You will be wide-eyed and ready to learn.
Reality: You sit attentively through seven full history lectures until the topic turns to the Middle Ages.
I Will Be More Positive
Expectation: This year, you decide you will face each day like you’re the captain of Spirit Squad. Life is so much better when you’re happy and peppy!
Reality: After three long weeks of being extremely peppy, you can’t even pretend to be excited in your 8 a.m. class.
I Will Be Better at Budgeting
Expectation: You don’t really need that fourth pair of black boots, or Qdoba every single Wednesday. This year, you will cut up those credit cards and say goodbye to your terrible spending habits.
Reality: Okay, those boots are to die for. Also, Qdoba is completely necessary; otherwise you’re forced to cook dinner.
I Will Make More ‘Me’ Time
Expectation: All people, emails, assignments and work shifts can wait. This year, you will learn how to designate at least an hour out of every day just for yourself, without any interruptions.
Reality: Okay, maybe 10 minutes is good….