Every season of The Bachelorette comes with a villain. Last season it was Luke Parker, this season it’s Yosef. The single father was sent home by Clare (yes, somehow that was still in this same season) after he verbally berated her, calling her “classless” after the memorable strip dodgeball date. Mind you, Yosef wasn’t even on this date. It’s one thing to have a disagreement, it’s another to take it to a personal level and continually talk down to Clare with comments like, “I’m ashamed to be associated with you.” While I totally agree that the date was inappropriate, Yosef honestly just doesn’t know when to shut up, which he proved yet again on this past week’s Men Tell All episode.
Yosef was brought back on to reflect on that final conversation with Clare, and somehow, he really didn’t think he did anything wrong. He told Chris Harrison, “I don’t regret sticking up for these guys,” which is funny, because last I checked no one was asking him to stick up for them. In fact, Kenny, Ben and Demar were among “the most naked guys” and they interjected to tell him that they didn’t have a problem with it. Yosef went on to prove how out of touch he is by telling them, “I’m sorry you can’t express how you feel like a man.” But a man would calmly share his opinion without bringing it to the level that he did. His inability to have a simple conversation without turning to insults shows how little of a man he is.
After looking back at the footage of his confrontation with Clare, Chris asked Yosef if he’d mind if someone spoke to his daughter like that. “If my daughter did something like that, I would hope someone would call her out,” he said. The fact that Yosef couldn’t even recognize how demeaning he was to Clare seems to be the tip of the iceberg of a much larger issue. This truly is the perfect example of the idea that “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” The issue isn’t that Yosef was upset about the date, but how he reacted to it. I mean, Chris even told Yosef that he wanted to help him out and asked him to apologize to Clare. Of course, he didn’t.
This narrative is extremely troubling to watch. I can’t even begin to understand what was going on in Yosef’s head. Not only was he extremely condescending to Clare, he’d be find with someone treating his daughter the same way? What would his daughter say if she heard that? What does that say about how he views women in general? Honestly, if Men Tell All wasn’t filmed live, I wouldn’t be surprised if the producers had just vetoed the footage altogether.
Yosef completely stands by his actions with no remorse, even when everyone tried to explain why he was wrong. Honestly, I feel kind of bad – it must be a sad existence to go through life so unaware of how you come across to others – but mostly, I just have secondhand embarrassment for Yosef right now. He sets a toxic example to viewers about how you should speak to somebody you’re upset with.
Riley said it best: “Ladies, watch out for this man.”