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Unhealthy Friendship with an Ex

My ex-boyfriend says he wants to be my friend. But when I see him he tries to kiss me and he calls me multiple times everyday. Oh, by the way, he has a girlfriend. Should I give up trying to be his friend? I am NOT interested in him anymore. 

Dear Doll, 

You wise thing, you. The answer, as you already know, is YES — give up trying to be his friend.  There is no “friend” available here for you — he is not showing up as a friend would, so stop reaching for something that isn’t even in the cards. Be a friend to yourself, and from a far you will be a friend to your ex and his girlfriend by cutting the cord now. If you’re flirting with him or teasing him at all — stop. It’s disrespectful to everyone involved. You would not want someone to do that with you or your guy, right? You deserve clear, true friends and I’m sure you have them. Focus there and love your life. 

You’re beautiful and wise! 

All my love,

Ali Berlin is a radio host, author, relationship coach and marriage officiant who guides people to release conditioned pain and fear and embrace satisfaction and love. Over the past ten years, she has become a sought after expert in desire and practical spirituality, and is beloved for her disarming personal transparency and relentless commitment to the truth. Ali has personally worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, and spoken to thousands of people on the practice of living an authentic, integrated and passionate One Life. Ali holds a Masters Degree and coaching certification from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology and a Bachelors Degree from Penn State University. She has lectured at Stanford University, Penn State University, the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology and has been a featured on Montel Williams radio, Woman’s Day Magazine radio, The New York Times Weddings section, InStyle Celebrity Weddings, DailyWorth.com, Mike Robbins’ radio, KTLA Pacesetters, StyleMePretty.com, BrooklynBride.com, Personal Life Media and more. In 2008, she co-founded The One Love Campaign, a grass roots initiative for marriage equality, which garnered local and national recognition. For more information, visit http://aliberlin.com/
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