If you’re anything like me, you grew up dreaming about getting the princess treatment from your future significant other one day. As I’ve gotten older, the daydreaming still continues (imagining scenarios in my head before bed is literally my favorite part of the day), even though it has shifted from dreaming of being awoken by true love’s first kiss to more real-life things like being brought flowers all the time or being whisked away on super thoughtful dates. But even as the scenarios have changed, the underlying factor remains the same: a desire to feel special and valued by your partner.
Getting this so-called princess treatment can look really different for everyone, because everyone has different ways that they want to be shown this appreciation from their partner, and different values that are in place in their relationship. But sometimes, these interpretations can stray far beyond the norm. Case in point: Content creator Courtney Palmer recently went viral on TikTok for explaining what the princess treatment looks like in her relationship, and it has sparked a ton of online debate.
In one mega-viral video, Palmer describes her princess treatment in the context of going out to eat at restaurants. (She also has a ton of different videos on her page explaining all the elements of what princess treatment means for her, and how she has curated her behaviors in order to get this kind of treatment that she wants.) In the restaurant video, she describes how she leaves pretty much everything up to her husband, from talking to the waitstaff to placing her order. “You’re just going to stand in the lobby or whatever the space is and wait for your husband to come back [from parking the car]. You’re not going to go up to the hostess and give the reservation name, you’re not going to talk to her,” she says in her video. She also says if she’s asked a direct question at a restaurant, she will simply look to her husband for him to give the answer. Her reasoning? “You’re just letting your husband lead and be masculine. He made the reservation, he’s taking you out — let him do the logistics. You’re just being a princess.”
Palmer does add disclaimers that this is not because she cannot do all of these things (of course she can), but rather because this is how her and her husband show their care for each other. “It’s not that I’m not capable of ordering for myself, it’s just fun,” she says in the video. “It’s a fun princess treatment thing. It makes me feel special and just over-the-top taken care of.”
Look, if this behavior works for them, then it works for them. But the main reason people are disagreeing with her so vehemently is because of how the actions can come off as extremely disrespectful to waitstaff. Many people have shared their criticisms online because of this.
Eli Rallo, a lifestyle influencer who often comments on trending topics online, made an entire video in response to Palmer’s video. “There are no harder working people than waitstaff, than busboys, than bartenders, than hostesses, than people that work in the service industry,” she says in her TikTok. “So to say that when you go to a restaurant and ignore the waitstaff and ignore the hostess is a f*cking abomination … That’s not OK, and frankly, that’s not what a princess would do.” She goes on to say that in order to really act like a princess, you need to treat people with respect, be kind, and make people feel valued — and that the way Palmer was acting was not in line with this.
There have also been a lot of jokes about the idea, with people taking the “not talking to waitstaff” thing and running with it. For example, creator Kelly Krauter posted a skit acting as a hostess attempting to interact with Palmer, and showing how truly awkward it would be to try to do your job with someone like that.
As Palmer’s videos continue to inspire responses, they’re also inspired others to consider what the princess treatment means to them. And to that, I say, go get what you want, girl (as long as everyone’s getting respectful treatment, of course).