Recently, TODAY.com and SELF.com published the results of SELF Magazine’s survey asking women about “Toxic Friends”. The magazine polled 18,000 women (aged 18-80) during one week in May about their poisonous pals, and 84% said that they have had one or more of these destructive friends. A “toxic friend” was defined as someone who “who has brought toxicity into the relationship through belittling, backstabbing or judging”. The survey also found that 83% of females admit to perpetuating the relationship despite its deleterious nature.
Â
Unfortunately, there is more than one kind of “toxic friend” a girl could have, and the survey helped identify the 5 most common types of frenemy.Â
The Narcissist is friend who can’t seem to get enough of herself–65% of women know someone like this. 59% of us know a Chronic Downer, a friend who is “overly needy and emotionally draining”. The Critic is your friend who seems to find flaws in everything and everyone (55% of women admit to having a friend like this). The Underminer can be sneaky, with her seemingly good intentions but backhanded compliments, and 45% of people know someone like this. And, of course, 37% of us know the Flake, that friend who is “reliably unreliable”. Even worse, 33% of people surveyed said their frenemy was actually their best friend.
Women also reported having difficulty in ending these friendships, passively hiding them on Facebook when they can’t take them anymore (37%). Sometimes co-workers can inspire conflict too, as 40% of women say they’ve experienced a conflict with a friend at work, and 25% say that ending a work friendship strained the work relationship.
Collegiettes™, these numbers do not speak well for us. In the realm of social organization, our friends are people we choose (unlike family) who should be there to build us up and serve as positive forces in our lives. If you feel like your frenemy is just there to ruin your life, you need to have a frank discussion with him or her–it’s possible that they are totally unaware of their destruction.
After all, something attracted you to that person in the first place. Why not see if that can be found again? You can take this quiz to help you figure out the best way to deal with your toxic friends. Let us know what you think about this!