We all have an image of “that girl” who goes to college to achieve her “M.R.S.” degree, after which telling you she sticks out her hand to showcase the big ol’ glitzy rock sparkling on her ring finger. This an outdated image for most of us, one which we associate with the 1950’s and ’60’s, a time when our grandparents were going to school. Although the idea of going to college to get married definitely existed then, it most certainly exists now and maybe associating that image with our grandparents isn’t a fair view of their academic pursuits and career aspirations. Maybe a second look is in order.
My grandmother attended three schools. She was a music major at Duke University and then studied music at the graduate level at Smith College. After grad school, she went further and attended the Cleveland Institute of Music to further her musical education. My grandmother’s dreams of a career in music were no lighthearted whims to attract a man, settle down, and be done. She was a driven woman, who happened to meet her husband while she was in grad school. Even though she was married, it didn’t stop her from furthering her education in music. She did settle down and have children, but in no way did she give up her career. As a pianist and vocalist, she taught music at a local high school, played the organ in a nearby church and continued to work, in addition to having a family. No “M.R.S. degree”-holder here, but a woman with driven career aspirations who happened to also want to have a family.
My mother followed a similar path. She also attended Duke University, where she earned a degree in biology, and continued onto the graduate program at Harvard University to get her PhD. She met my father after graduate school, had myself and my sister, and stayed at home to raise our family. True, she gave up work to be a stay-at-home mom, but she made that decision on her own. She wasn’t forced into it by anyone.
While the idea of going to college for an “M.R.S. degree” may seem outdated, it is a mindset that quite a few women still maintain. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have a family (I definitely want to in the future), there is something to say about obtaining a full education and having the option of a career. Next time you’re chatting with your grandma, ask her about her college experience because it may not be exactly what you think.