While on a routine checkup of my ex boyfriend’s facebook I came to a scary realization. I saw a wall post that his stepbrother had posted. The post read, “If I started a blog about what guys should wear based on what I wear would you subscribe?”. I have a pretty large following on my fashion blog, so this post was clearly about me. I was truly surprised that a year after our breakup my ex would joke about me to his friends. This was when I realized that I am his “crazy ex”, and considering I was the one who deleted, blocked, and then unblocked him on facebook so I could do a little creeping, I can see how there’s some truth to that statement…
I am somebody’s “crazy ex girlfriend”. I am “that girl” guys talk about to their new flame, saying how “obsessive” and “psycho” and “emotionally damaging” I was. I am the one that the new girl tells her friends about, saying that I’m the reason her love interest won’t be “FB offish”. That’s me, i’m the girl I HATE, great.
However, the thing is I know I’m not crazy. I KNOW I don’t need to be admitted to the coo-coo bin, I know that my sanity is completely in tact. Yet still, I am the crazy ex. So ladies before you accept the fact that your new boy toy had a psycho ex and that is why he can’t commit to you, ask him a little more about the situation, perhaps what he did to make her crazy?
A little background as to why I’m the crazy ex-girlfriend:
I dated this guy my junior year that I was completely and totally in love with. I was completely and totally in love with him because he was my first “serious” relationship and I lost my virginity to him etc. He led me to believe he felt the same way and we were going to be together forever ladidadida “~*prom till 4eva*~”. He goes off to college (buh-bye miss ya) when I was still in high school, and we agree to be “together but not together”, typical high school- college relationship. Of course, nothing actually changes between Sunday and Thursday night or up until 10 pm Friday and Saturdays, so everything obviously felt the same. His dorm room had a collage of us, we would skype everyday, and we were working things out just fine! I have a little “slip up” that I confess to (together but not together remember) and I get guilted about for months and months. We end things officially a few months later because neither of us was happy; it was very mutual and good. However, little things came out and we end up hating each other, he’d call me to tell me he loved me and not remember it in the morning, things just got messy, but we were completely done. I felt so guilty about what had happened back in September I wrote a formal apology to him in which I get a response that says “thanks, good luck in the future”, COOL. Fast forward six months later, we’re catching up and he casually mentions that during our time together while he was at school he had sex with three girls, two of which I had expressed concern about only to be told I was “crazy” and that they were “just really good friends”, during our relationship…. called that thanks. So obviously I’m going to call and leave a 10-minute voicemail right?! #crazyexgirlfriend. And obviously when I see him I’m going to refuse to talk and then punch him in the face right? #crazyexgirlfriend.
So why does that make me crazy? It makes me crazy because I obsess over everything I could have done differently to have avoided getting hurt, I’m obsessed with making my ex-boyfriend realize he made a mistake, I am obsessed with wanting nothing to do with him and hating him. I can’t help being crazy, but I didn’t ask for it.
If you think there is something going on between your boyfriend and the girl he’s constantly texting, facebook chatting, and hanging out with, you may have a point! If he’s sketchy about it just you wait, three months later he will confess that there was more going on then a “good friendship”. When you find out and get angry, even though you were “totally wrong and didn’t understand” before, he’s going to think you’re overreacting. Why? Because HE knew where he was coming from along, he saw his OWN train of thought, and because he can justify his actions to himself he cant understand why you’re being so “crazy”.
Girls are crazy because guys make them crazy. A guy tells you he loves you and then doesn’t talk to you for a month, so you call him once a day, are you crazy? NO. You probably just want him to answer so he can confirm he’s still alive, why would someone disappear like that if they weren’t dead?!?!? Oh you changed your mind? You didn’t think you might want to tell me? Oh so your over me? You think I have telepathy?
It’s OKAY we’re all a little crazy….
– look at your ex’s facebook as reassurment that you’re hotter then the girls he’s tagged in pics with
-they choose someone over you? Your going to compare every single trait you have to theirs
– relate every single love song/breakup song back to your own love life, even if they are somewhat irrelevant.
– Not want to be with him, but don’t want him to be with anyone else either. I just don’t want you to “get over me”, am I that easy to get over?
-Delete his number, but memorize it too so if he texts you, you wont have to send the “sorry I got a new phone lol who is this?” text.
-The number of times you’ve ended “flings” or confessed “love” under the influence? Countless.
-If he’s in a facebook relationship before you, you think you lost the battle.
– Have a go-to tweet every time you get hurt by a guy…(mines usually from the song “Breathe, by Taylor Swift”)
We all undeniably act out of self interest, we do good for other people when it is in OUR interest, thats how relationships work.