The cover art of Alexa Cappelli’s new single, “Lose Lose,” shows the rising pop singer and songwriter sitting in a stunning two-piece gown surrounded by the black and white pieces of a chessboard, leaning over a fallen king as though she’s been defeated. The lyrics to the song, which was released on Nov. 11, echo the same feeling. “I can’t win, I can’t move, I just can’t. It’s a lose, lose.”
In the song’s music video, the 23-year-old singer is portrayed quite literally playing an ensemble of different games. She bowls, she shoots pool, she plays chess, and she even takes a crack at the arcade crane machine to no avail. If this seems like a literal interpretation of Cappelli’s personal life experience, it’s because it is. “Sometimes, there’s really no winning and it’s just easier to walk away,” Capelli says.
This cyclic feeling of defeat was where Cappelli’s mind was at during the creation of the hit song, which is all about cutting the cord on a toxic friendship. Cappelli says she was inspired to share her story to kick off her healing process, and hopefully, empower other women along the way. “This experience really hurt,” she tells me. “But at the same time, I knew I couldn’t be in that situation anymore.”
Cappelli says her decision to walk away from the friendship happened in the middle of writing and producing the song, and credits the writing process for her newfound strength and ability to recognize toxic situations. “I love songwriting because I get to process things with others that are going through similar situations,” she says. “And getting to share that with fans, it really makes you feel less alone.”
While producing a hit single isn’t new to Cappelli — she’s gone viral for two other 2022 singles, “Could’ve Just Left Me Alone” and “SAY SOMETHING” — working on “Lose Lose” marked the first time Cappelli worked with a team of all women. As was the case for so many artists, Cappelli tells me of how she “had time during the pandemic to really think about how she wanted to use her platform and what kind of stories she wanted to tell.” And for this story, women were at the heart of it all.
Co-writing “Lose Lose” with well-known songwriters Skylar Stonestreet and Pom Pom, and shooting with cinematographer Renee Nabinger, Cappelli raves about how it felt to work with a group of such talented women. “I felt so heard, like I was talking to friends,” she says. “My management and label are primarily made up of women as well. My team actively looks for women when producing and shooting, and they can be hard to find in this space” — aka behind the scenes of creative projects.
On shoot day for the video, Capelli recalls, “I have this video of us trying to sing these really low notes together while dancing to the song. It was so funny. It was great to have this experience with them, and process these kinds of feelings together.” Cappelli says the experience was uplifting for her. “I think it’s awesome that I have so many women in my corner,” she says. “It’s so amazing to see such strong and empowered women around me. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without them.”
After opting to leave college early and pursue a full-time music career, Cappelli knew she wanted to shape her songs around unforgettable experiences, like the aforementioned friendship breakup. “After I graduated high school, I realized that I want to sing and tell my own stories,” she says, “I wanted the opportunity to use my own voice to share what I’m passionate about. So becoming an artist was inevitable, and I’ve never looked back.” And rather than shy away from her feelings of heartbreak, the California-based singer opens up to the world. “Friendship breakups definitely hurt in a different way than maybe relationships do. I knew there was no fixing us, but at the same time I couldn’t put myself through that anymore,” she admits.
Although her toxic friendship came to an end, Cappelli remains grateful. “If I hadn’t had this experience, I might still be involved in this toxic friendship where I wasn’t able to speak up for or defend myself.”
“Lose Lose” forces you to think about the kind of people you want around you. At least, that’s how Cappelli sees it. “I want to empower my fans to have a higher standard for the kind of people they allow in their lives,” she says. When it comes to what advice she’d give to women going through a friendship breakup themselves, she says taking time to reevaluate things is what’s most important to her. “Having a few really good friends has been a real game changer for me,” she says. “Sometimes, it’s easier to have bad friends than to have no friends at all, but if you’re a good friend yourself and make room for others, they will come.”