Actress, cosplayer, model and journalist Chloe Dykstra wrote an essay that detailed her emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with an anonymous ex-boyfriend on Thursday night, posting it unlisted on Medium. Although Dykstra doesn’t specifically name her abuser in her article, Twitter users claim that her abuser might be her ex-boyfriend Chris Hardwick.
Dykstra’s post includes a content warning disclaiming about eating disorders, emotional abuse and sexual assault. Albeit we won’t include many direct quotes from Dykstra’s article (because of the, at times, graphic content), some Twitter users claim that there are clues that could hint at the identity of Dykstra’s long-term abuser as TV personality Chris Hardwick.
At the beginning of Dykstra’s article, she claims that she met her alleged abuser when she was in her early twenties and he was nearly 20 years older than her, and they both met at a convention. Dykstra notes that at the start of their relationship, her anonymous abuser enforced some stringent rules that were riddles in gaslighting behavior. (BTW, gaslighting is emotional abuse.)
I quietly posted an article today, unlisted on Medium. It clearly made the rounds. I’m overwhelmed and I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words- they mean so much to me. I may take some time off the internet, please know your support means everything to me.
— Chloe Dykstra (@skydart) June 15, 2018
In addition to allegations that this anonymous ex-boyfriend controlled and emotionally abused her, Dykstra claims that he also manipulated her into accepting a “on-camera job at his company [she] didn’t want.”
“I watched and supported him as he grew from a mildly successful podcaster to a powerhouse CEO of his own company. He was obsessed with celebrity, being famous, famous people,” Dykstra continues. Many of Dykstra’s have noticed the similarities between her ambiguous references and her confirmed relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Hardwick, who founded the nerdom news hub Nerdist.
According to The Wrap, Dykstra co-hosted the “Just Cos” cosplay-related show on Nerdist’s network, which might explain why Twitter users think that Hardwick is Dykstra’s unnamed abuser. The AV Club adds that Dykstra later referenced her anonymous abuser as a person of power, where she later claimed that he used his authority to emotionally abuse her.
“When cameras were on us? He was a prince. Turn them off, he was a nightmare,” Dykstra writes, after mentioning that she took the job at his company because she was “scared to upset him.”
Though Hardwick and Nerdist have yet to make an official statement regarding these allegations, Dykstra’s allegations have circulated throughout social media, and many Twitter users have shared their support for Dykstra and her accusations. Even Dykstra has noted the support.
“I quietly posted an article today, unlisted on Medium. It clearly made the rounds. I’m overwhelmed and I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words- they mean so much to me. I may take some time off the internet, please know your support means everything to me,” Dykstra tweets.
In response to Dykstra’s tweet, another user offered her empathy and concern for Dykstra’s emotional, mental and overall well-being. “Stumbled onto the post, ended up reading entire thing. Absolutely harrowing and some of it hits too close to home. Sending my support and love your way. Hope you’re okay,” the user writes. (We hope that Dykstra is okay too. If she isn’t okay now, we hope she is okay (and eventually happy and thriving) in the near future.)
Stumbled onto the post, ended up reading entire thing. Absolutely harrowing and some of it hits too close to home. Sending my support and love your way. Hope you’re okay.
— Ashe (@ladyinsanity) June 15, 2018
Even current Nerdist writers are using their social media platforms to show that they believe Dykstra. “As someone who writes for Nerdist, let me just say…Chris Hardwick is a piece of trash and I believe women,” Donna Dickens tweets.
Though Dickens’s initial tweet is implicitly supportive of Dykstra, as it doesn’t mention Dykstra specifically, a later Tweet in her thread reads, “I believe Chloe.” And this is extremely important because we should continue to take every survivor’s allegations seriously and listen to their accusations.
I believe Chloe. https://t.co/bJYCq20elp
— Donna Dickens (@MildlyAmused) June 15, 2018
Still, some Nerdist employees apparently resigned from their positions to support Dykstra. The now-former Nerdist writer Scott Weinberg, tweets, “As of today I no longer write for @nerdist. The editorial staff is absolutely fantastic but I don’t want my work or name affiliated in any way with Chris Hardwick.”
As of today I no longer write for @nerdist. The editorial staff is absolutely fantastic but I don’t want my work or name affiliated in any way with Chris Hardwick. https://t.co/QJuZDo821T
— Scott Weinberg (@scottEweinberg) June 15, 2018
Dykstra also adds in her essay that she stayed in this abusive relationship for approximately three years. Given the gaslighting signs that Dykstra mentions in her article, gaslighting can inadvertently prolong emotionally abusive relationships (or any type of abusive relationship). Toward the end of her article, Dykstra alleges, with the aid of an anonymous woman, that her abuser actively blacklisted her from companies within the entertainment industry, which shows that her abuser’s power-play extended well beyond the continual abuse within their relationship.
While we wait for Hardwick to formally respond regarding Dykstra’s article and Twitter’s subsequent allegations, Dykstra’s essay could empower other survivors —especially within the geekdom culture — to share their stories. Furthermore, we hope that Dykstra gets the closure that she deserves regarding her still-anonymous abuser.