Oh, Kelsey. We had such high hopes for you, coming in on the first night with your short haircut. You seemed mature and extension-free, and we liked that about you. We have a feeling Chris did, too. But then you had to go and mess it all up by opening your mouth…repeatedly. As soon as our Bachelor ditched Ashley S., you were a prime target to become the next crazy. You gave producers just the right amount of partially insane statements to craft you into a villain. And while we do think Kelsey was pretty heavily edited to sound cuckoo, we can’t help but relive some of her boldest and most prolific thoughts below.
8. The laughing
Chris might not have caught on to it, but Kelsey’s pained laugh tells us how she really feels about staying at the campsite all night. What’s even better, though, are the other girls’ impressions of her laugh.
7. Falling for love
In this gem of a deleted scene, we saw Kelsey describing her panic attack to the only ears that would listen. You guessed it: Britt! Our favorite part? She definitely kept her eye on that one-on-one prize after, according to her, experiencing an unbelievable amount of tragedy! Stick around; we have a lot more to say about her “medical emergency.”
6. Immeasurably blessed
In Kelsey’s exit interview, she once again put herself on a pedestal all while uttering her famously faux speech of gratitude in the same breath. Did we forget to mention that she held her hand up in the air again ranking herself above everyone else? Yes, that happened.
5. Good ole’ denial
First of all, how amazing was it that Kelsey entered every room by cooing, “Knock, knock?” It’s like she knew she was being talked about. If the ladies were so convinced that Kelsey was a master manipulator, then they had to see this denial approach coming—or maybe not! A little lamb during confrontation, Kelsey just couldn’t help but pat herself on the back during her confessional: “I get it. I am blessed with eloquence and I’m articulate and I use a lot of big words because I’m smart.”
4. Panic at the rose ceremony
First, we demand to know why the initial moments of this supposed fainting/panic attack weren’t caught on camera. From laughing about store-bought brownies to being overly confident about getting a rose, we couldn’t even handle Kelsey in this moment. And we had to know she would ask to speak with Chris because he’s too nice to do anything but hug and reassure her.
3. Darling, that is life
First of all, Kelsey couldn’t even remember the name of her late husband’s cause of death. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she turned this into an opportunity to compliment herself excessively. Her nonchalance throughout the conversation had even Ashley I. questioning Kelsey’s motives. That’s when we knew things were serious!
2. Like a black widow, baby
Meet crazy Kelsey. This was the moment when America turned on her. We didn’t want to bring Sanderson Poe into this, but her reaction after telling Chris her tragic tale made us cringe: “Isn’t my story amazing? It’s tragic, but it’s amazing. I love my story… I know this is a story about Chris, but this is my love story, too.” Though we think this moment was extremely edited, we can’t help but hate Kelsey for trying to hijack Chris’s journey to find love.
1. Eye daggers
We all saw this moment coming, right? Chris loves to call these women by name when he’s playing the blame game, and Ashley I. was simply his latest victim. But it was more Kelsey’s blatant staredown of Ashley on a peculiarly-placed bed that made this moment worth taking a second look at.
So long, Kelsey! We hope you find a man who looks up to you as much as you do.
Who would you like to nominate for the next woman to stir up some major trouble, collegiettes?