Itâs all happening! ABC has released info about the men hoping to woo Bachelorette Rachel, and along with those classic blue background headshots, weâve been treated to a slew of facts that will absolutely make you hate her men from the get-go.
1. The most romantic gift Adam ever received was a threesome
Donât worry, guysâit was his birthday!
2. Alexâs favorite artist is The Rock
Apparently heâs never heard of Monet.
3. Anthony considers himself emotionally intelligent
Quick, someone call Taylor.
4. Blake E. hates when his date talks about her cats
I bet her cats hate when she talks about you, too.
5. The only thing Blake K. wonât do for love is eat monkey brains
Um, no one asked you toâŠ
6. Brady âhates getting an Uber that doesnât speak Englishâ
But he loves âwell-made, high-quality sweats.â What a winner.
7. Bryan was asked to list his three best attributes and instead listed seven
Itâs hard to narrow it down to just three when youâre this amazing. Right, Bry?
8. Bryce literally admitted he wants to be a professional Instagrammer
Youâve come to the right place.
9. Dean thinks marriage is âan institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefsâ
But he still wants to get married.
10. DeMario craves the kind of attention Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears got when they wore matching denim outfits
Hmm, I canât say I disagree.
11. When his one-night standâs brother went missing, Diggy pretended to be asleep so he didnât have to help
*JAW DROPS*
12. Eric likes green drinks
No one likes green drinks, Eric. Stop lying.
13. Fred sometimes gets aroused at work
And now everyone at Fredâs work is weirded outâŠ
14. Grant has a poop story so horrifying I canât retell it
15. Iggy hates when his date is dumb
Nice.
16. Jack Stoneâs name is Jack Stone
Thatâs bad enough. No need to add to it.
17. Jamey doesnât have any female friends
He has a lot in common with this douche.
18. Jedidiah has these eyebrows
Aww, poor guy.
19. Jonathanâs occupation is tickle monster
I donât even want to know what that means. Change it now.
20. Josiahâs worst date memory is being catfished by a pregnant girl
Ooh, I think youâre on the wrong show.
21. Kenny has had sex with a woman while her husband watched
âŠâŠâŠ..
22. Kyle doesnât know what gluten is but eats gluten free when he can
Why?
23. Lee is a singer/songwriter
Havenât we learned our lesson?
24. Lucasâs ideal mate looks like a cartoon character
He lists Belle, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and Jessica Rabbit as his faves.
25. Matt thinks buying your SO lingerie proves youâre in love with them
When really no one wants lingerie. We want FOOD.
26. Michael thinks Denzel Washington has played âseveral different charactersâ and thatâs impressive
Look at IMDb, bro.
27. Milton wants to be âdiscoveredâ
Ultimately he wants the show to earn him a writing or acting gig. (At least he admitted what everyone else here was thinking.)
28. Mohit knows his hair could use some work, yet heâs done nothing about it
Not acceptable.
29. Peter says moving to Greece to be a model was âeverythingâ
Iâm sure it was, Peter, but do you have to say it like that?
30. Rob had blonde highlights and wore diamond studs in the â90s/â00s
How old are you? Also, pics or it didnât happen.
31. Will doesnât want to be someoneâs second choice
Which means heâll probably be Rachelâs 31st choice.
For more insane confessions, check out the cast’s full bios.