One dreamy guy + a couple dozen roses + a house full of lovestruck women = great reality TV. That’s right, The Bachelor is back on, which means you get to snuggle up with your girls every Monday night and watch what Chris Harrison will describe as “the most dramatic season ever.” Whether we like to admit it or not, The Bachelor is one of our guilty pleasures, so we’re all familiar with what goes through our heads every Monday night.
1. Sorry, GPA; The Bachelor is on. Finding love is more important for the next two hours.
2. Awww, cute, you’re acting like besties. Good thing you’ll all stab one another in the back within the next half hour.
3. Chicks are PISSED they didn’t get called for the group date. Sucks to suck.
4. Oh, here’s the Bachelor getting ready for the date. In the shower. *Sigh*
5. You know what would make this group date more interesting? If someone threw a punch.
6. How did some of these girls get on this show? I’m way smarter and prettier. I wonder what the application is like…
7. Jealousy at its finest: when the one-on-one date is announced.
8. I would NEVER want to face my fear on a date. Who the hell goes bungee jumping on a regular basis anyway?
9. Well, that’s a lot of tongue for national television.
10. Oh, of course the date includes a hot tub. Shirtless Bachelor round 2.
11. And there’s the designated crazy chick. The producers must set this up. No one’s actually THAT insane.
12. Seriously, everyone has a sob story. How does he keep track of them all?
13. I wonder how much they drink. They’re literally always drinking.
14. And here come the tears. Alcohol + drama = a hot mess.
15. Please, tell me one more time how you’re ‘here for the right reasons.’
16. I wonder if real guys feel this way about love. Probably not.
17. Forget all these other girls; I will totally accept your rose. *wink*
18. Why must Chris Harrison announce the last rose? Like, we know there’s only one left.
19. Alright, you’ve known him for approximately five minutes. He’s not your soul mate. Go home.
Here’s to “the most dramatic season of The Bachelor” yet!