Over the summer, Her Campus provided chapters with the opportunity to attend a zoom press conference with Lauv as he promoted his new album All 4 Nothing.
The 28-year-old singer has spent much of his 20’s trying to figure out life, like most of us, and this journey of self-discovery is often reflected in his music. Side note: All 4 Nothing makes for a fantastic driving playlist. The one thing he said about his journey was that in your twenties, you have to get lost in order to really find yourself.
Here is the thing about me, I don’t get lost. I don’t like the feeling of being lost, I don’t like to be late which often results from getting lost, and in all but the rarest of circumstances, mostly with fault to European Google Maps, I don’t get lost.
Lauv’s words left my stomach twisted. For someone who doesn’t even like to be physically lost, being lost in a more metaphysical sense sounded terrifying.
However, as I moved through the rest of summer, hurtling towards my last year of college, that knot started to untwist.
I spent six weeks of my summer in Italy, leaving the door wide open for self-reflection, whether I liked it or not. Even though I was there for school and spending my days interning with a local newspaper, I found myself with more free time than ever before. After my internship ended for the day, my time was completely my own. There was no homework to finish up or club meetings or part-time jobs to rush off to.
One day, after finishing work for my internship, I was exploring the side streets of Sorrento, the town we were living in, when I realized I had absolutely no idea where I was or where the road ahead would take me. Normally, this would have filled me with panic. Red pigments would have covered my face, butterflies would have filled my stomach, and I would have been frantically Google mapping.
I was about to turn back and attempt to find my way when I realized, there was nothing stopping me from getting lost. I knew that if I backtracked I could figure out where I was going so I wasn’t about to be lost to the point of no return. I had dinner plans but it was only 4 p.m. and the reservations were not until 8 p.m., so the chance of me becoming lost enough to be late was slim.
At the time, it seemed like such an insignificant decision. To keep walking toward the unknown. However, looking back on it, I realize that since that day I have made some big decisions that I know I would not have been brave enough to make before. I broke up with my boyfriend, realizing just because someone is perfect on paper doesn’t mean they are perfect for you. I made the final decision to graduate a year early, getting over my fear of entering the job market and the prospect of going out on my own a year early. Finally, I realized that even though looking for a job in PR or marketing might be a more stable career move, if my dream is truly to be a journalist I have to go all-in and apply for reporting jobs.
Walking into the unknown and being lost was never something I had any interest in prior to boarding my flight to Italy. However, something about accepting and even embracing becoming physically lost, changed how I viewed that loss of control. Never before had I felt so carefree. My fingers, which usually itch to get back to their nervous habits like playing with my hair, tapping, or death gripping anything in my hands, swung calmly at my side. I should have been panicking but instead, I was calmer and happier than I had been since arriving in Sorrento a few weeks prior. More importantly, I was willing to let myself get lost again.
This realization could not have come at a better time because as I go into my third and final year of college, I know feeling lost is going to be pretty common. Where will I be living and working in a year? What will I be doing? Who will I be with? Who will I be? While I am sure most seniors out there can still agree that all these questions can be terrifying, I know now that not only do I not have to fear getting lost, I can look forward to it.