“The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On” is Netflix’s newest relationship reality show. “Love is Blind” hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey are back to host this show and seem to have based the concept around their own experiences as a couple.
Vanessa Lachey explains that she gave Nick an ultimatum when she was 29 and ready to get married, and then the two took a short break during which they saw other people. After this, the couple realized they wanted to be with each other, they came back stronger than before and have been married ever since.
“The Ultimatum” follows this outline by bringing together six couples who are at a stage in their relationship where one partner is ready for marriage and the other is unsure. The partner who is ready to take the next step issues an ultimatum to their significant other, and then they each spend the next eight weeks testing the waters to see if they are truly prepared to tie the knot.
The beginning of the show sees the six couples taking a short break from one another to date other people within the cast. Each person then chooses someone who isn’t their original partner to take part in a “trial marriage” with for three weeks. During this trial marriage, the two people live together and go on dates to see whether they can develop a connection with someone new, or if this experience strengthens their feelings for the person they came into the show with.
Then after these three weeks, the original couples come back together and have their own trial marriage for three weeks. After these two experiences, the couples ultimately decide if they are now ready for marriage, or if they want to explore a connection with the new person they met.
I know what you’re probably thinking, and yes, this concept is insanely messy and confusing. As you can imagine, long-term couples seeing their partners live and connect with other people can wreak havoc on everyone involved.
I can’t say that I was fully sold on this being effective at all, but I respected the fact that the couples were putting their faith in the process and seeing how it played out. That being said, though, two of the couples didn’t really go all-in with the experience.
On the night when each person was supposed to choose a new partner for their first trial marriage, two men proposed to their original partners despite the process barely beginning. Both proposals were successful, and the couples were still together during the reunion episode. While I’m happy that those couples are happily engaged, I did wonder what the point of going on the show was if they were just going to leave that early on.
For the remaining four couples, the next six weeks were full of jealousy, heated arguments and tension while exploring new relationships.
One of the couples that stayed for the whole journey of this show was Colby and Madlyn. Colby gave Madlyn the ultimatum, and it was obvious throughout the process that she was lacking confidence in their relationship. Madlyn ended up choosing Randall to spend three weeks with and she made it very clear that Randall checked all her boxes for the perfect man.
Madlyn and Randall seemed to share a genuine connection, and Madlyn continuously praised Randall for having qualities that Colby lacked. When she was back with Colby, their relationship was very rocky. They fought numerous times, including the night before making their final choice on whether or not to get married.
Needless to say, I was very surprised when Madlyn not only accepted Colby’s proposal the next day but agreed to marry him right then and there. The premise of this show seemed to somehow work in their favor, because the two are still married and expecting their first child at the end of the month.
Randall, the person Madlyn paired up with for a test marriage, came onto the show with Shanique. Shanique gave the ultimatum and was very adamant about wanting to marry Randall. She ended up butting heads with Madlyn on one night in particular, when after a few drinks Madlyn gushed all about how Randall was her dream man. Shanique dated Zay during the experience, but I never truly felt the chemistry between this pair.
While Shanique and Randall had their fair share of miscommunication throughout their time when they came back together, Randall did ultimately propose to Shanique in the end. However, this proposal didn’t last very long because the couple ended up taking a longer break but are now dating again.
I think it was clear during the show that their lack of strong communication skills with one another would not be a good foundation for a marriage, so I think their decision to take more time was probably for the best.
Zay came onto the show with Rae, who gave him the ultimatum. Even though she was the one giving the ultimatum their roles quickly seemed to reverse. While Zay and Shanique didn’t seem to see a future together, Rae fell hard for her new partner Jake.
When the two came back together, Zay was ready for marriage, which is what Rae had originally wanted. However, she now wasn’t so sure after her strong connection with Jake. After a hard to watch fight between Zay and Rae, she decided to call their relationship off.
The final couple going through the process was Jake and April. April was adamant about starting a family and getting married so she gave Jake the ultimatum. Jake and Rae had undeniable chemistry, though, during their time together.
When the finale approached I honestly didn’t know which girl Jake was going to choose. He admitted to April that he wasn’t ready for marriage and the pair split up.
Jake and Rae went on to date after the show, and while the pair are still on good terms and open to trying again in the future, they are no longer together.
It’s hard to tell whether this show was successful in helping these couples or not. I feel like the concept of living with someone else just caused more problems for everyone. I think even stable couples would have a hard time moving past their significant other spending three weeks fake married to someone else.
I suppose Colby and Madlyn were the most successful couple, being the only ones who went through the entire thing and then ended up married to the person they came into it with. I have a hard time accepting that this was good for them, though, after seeing what they went through during the show.
To be completely honest, I think they were really toxic to each other during the process due to the situations the show was putting them through. I think they would have been just fine if they hadn’t come onto this show in the first place, but maybe it was beneficial to help Madlyn realize what she truly wanted.
As for all the couples that split, I suppose it’s better that they realized the marriage wasn’t right for them, rather than going through a messy divorce in the future. I still don’t think this show was a healthy process for anyone though regardless of how things turned out.
The whole show seemed to be an excuse to cheat on your partner without it technically being cheating. The after-effects of this “cheating” were overwhelmingly negative (shocking, I know). So, as much as I enjoyed binge watching all of the drama unfold, I genuinely think this show was toxic for the cast and utterly unhelpful for everyone.