Sometimes, it feels like your parents are dictating what your major should be and what career path you should follow. At some point, this might feel suffocating because it feels like everyone is telling you what to do and not asking what you want to do. To avoid a horrible quarrel and estranged relationship, here are some tips on how to deal with academic/career pressure from parents.
Firstly, identify the reasons why you are being pressured. Are they doing this because they have your best interest in mind or because they want to relive their life through you? Sometimes, this pressure might be a projected fear from their childhood. For example, if your parents were raised in a poor neighborhood, they might have seen that the people who easily escaped poverty were those who became doctors or lawyers. The best way to answer this question is to have an open conversation with your parents. Through conversations, we can see things from a different perspective and dispel certain assumptions we had. During this conversation, talk to your parents about how you feel. Explain to them that the career or academic choices they fancy might not be what you want to pursue. It might help to have a plan on how you want to find the right fit for you. This way, your parents are aware that you care about your future.
Also, remain calm and be responsible. The last thing you want to do is give your parents a reason to micromanage your academic and career choices. Do not try to do anything petty like purposely failing your classes to pass your point. At the end of the day, your report card will have your name on it and not your parents’ and that is all employers will see.
Talk to a trusted adult your parents respect. If your parents don’t seem to budge, you can ask a relative or family friend they respect to reason with them. Sometimes, these adults might bring up certain points or examples that can strengthen your argument. It is important to know what you are fighting for so if it means asking your grandma or grandpa to have a conversation with your parents, so be it.
Lastly, be willing to compromise. If you have spoken to your parents and you understand where they are coming from, you might consider compromising. If you do not mind following the path they suggest and can still achieve your dream, then compromising might not be the worst thing in the world. However, always remember that your life is yours and yours alone.
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