Our twenties are filled with constant and sudden turns. New beginnings, a changing of circles all while trying to figure out and establish who we really are in this world; this can be stressful. During this era, we are constantly tossed into environments that have us on high alert. Big parties, job interviews, date nights. The list is endless.
Although this age is when we tend to peak in looks, it won’t matter what you wear, how you do your makeup or how you style your hair. The most important thing you can wear is confidence.
The way you hold yourself up is so important when it comes to how people perceive you, because yes, it is true, first impressions do matter. With that being said, it is no surprise that people often get nervous before a first date, a job interview for their dream career, a speech in front of their whole lecture class and the many other positions in which we are thrown into situations where eyes are on us.
This can be a little nerve-wracking, but with this little secret, taming these nerves won’t be so hard.
It takes years to develop proper confidence, but with a few pointers and some guidance, you can go a long way in making a memorable impression on anyone.
A few months ago I came up with a theory when being tossed into an environment of twenty-five year olds, as a first-year university student, to pitch my first article for a big media company I interned for.
Right before my pitch, I had thought of an amazing way to slow down the stomach flips and get my game face on before I walked into the boardroom.
The “judging” or first glances of others are the first thing you see when you walk into the room. From the moment you enter the door, ’til the time you leave, people will be observing and noticing how you handle yourself. The trick here is to know everyone is watching, but to act like nobody is.
The more we think about others looking at us, the more self-conscious we get about how we are perceived by others. For example, when you eat a slice of pizza alone, you do not notice any sauce dripping, no messy hands or the fact that you maybe took “too large of a bite.” But when you are eating that same slice around others, you start to worry about being too sloppy or think you are somehow messier then when you eat alone.
It is not that you are any more messy around people than alone, you just start working yourself up over what others think, hence ruining your overall demeanour and approach towards what you are doing.
Once you stop worrying about the logistics of the way you eat your food, you will realize no one else really cares about it either. However, when you focus on the way you eat too much, others will notice and catch on to how you are coming off.
This approach applies to many other areas as well.
In any scenario where you feel intimidated or nervous, body language can play a key role in your perception.
When it comes to speaking with others, eye-contact, a nice big smile and avoiding filler words like “um”, “so” and “like” can go a long way in coming off as assertive and well-versed.
People who are a bit on edge tend to fidget a lot by rubbing their hands, picking at their skin and tapping or grabbing stuff. An easy way for people to avoid this is by putting their hands in their pockets. However, this is a very bad idea. By putting your hands in your pockets, it shows yet another form of a lack of self-confidence, as it gives off a closed off and non-inclusive approach to communication.
The way to own any scenario is to truly believe you do own it. If you were unable to handle said conflict or scenario, you would not be in that position in the first place.
So take it by storm and prove to yourself that you are more than capable of anything you set your mind to. Once you truly believe in the power you have, you will automatically begin to resonate the same energy.
This is similar to a “fake it ’till you make it” approach. Whether you believe you are ready for the conversation or scenario you are placed in, act like you are. No one will know you are acting, all they will see is a confident and independent woman in front of them.
And that practice of feeling and acting with conviction will help you to eventually achieve it in an effortless way.
So it’s simple: next time you order that plate of saucy Neapolitan pizza on your date, remember the “pizza theory” and just eat it as if no one cares because honestly, no one does.