As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, love is starting to fill the air. Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, friends, family, or yourself (self-love is the best love) here’s some things you should know about your love language.
Some of you may be asking yourself, “what even is a love language?” The concept of love languages was first introduced by Gary Chapman in his book,The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chapman is a marriage counselor who believes that each person has a different love language that explains how they best express their love to others. Although any relationship is much more complicated than just this, understanding your love language may help strengthen your connections. The five love languages are,
Words of Affirmation: giving compliments, thanks, positive messages
If your love language is words of affirmation this means that you are best at showing others you love and care about them through telling them. This can include complimenting their appearance, thanking them, or even just telling them you appreciate them. These simple sentiments go a long way if words of affirmation is your love language.
Quality Time: spending time together, undivided attention, activities
Quality time is the most common of the love languages. This looks like spending time together whether it is sitting in silence or an extravagant activity as long as you’re together. It may seem like an easy one but making time for someone is an extra special way to show your love with this love language.
Gifts: physical gifts
More straightforward than the others, this love language is all about gift giving. It is also the most misunderstood of the love languages as some few it as materialistic. However, gift giving does not have to be about a super expensive gift or anything like that. This love language appreciates having a physical representation of their love through any gift. For example, making a playlist or picking up their favorite coffee are great ways to show your love through gift giving.
Acts of Service: doing chores, going out of your way to help out
People who speak this love language appreciate when their partner goes out of their way to help with chores or any act of service that can elevate stress or pressure off the other. Some small ways to show love for those whose love language is acts of service could be tossing in their laundry, washing the dishes, or filling up their gas. This love language is all about appreciating the little acts of kindness.
Physical Touch: holding hands, hugging, physical intimacy
Despite what this love language sounds like, it’s not all about sex! Physical touch includes small forms of intimacy such as hugging, holding hands or just sitting next to each other. For many people physical touch is an important way to show how much you love someone and express that in a way that others are able to see and you can feel. It is important to talk to your partner about boundaries that they have regardless of if their love language is physical touch. Small touches can reassure your partner that they are loved and cared for.
Knowing your love language is the first step in strengthening any relationship. However, it is equally as important to understand that your partner’s love language may not be the same as yours. You should always try your best to make them feel loved in the way that they feel most cared for! If you’re still unsure what your love language is there are tons of online quizzes that can help!