Without making this sound like an AA meeting, my name is Katrina, and I have celiac disease. This past January marks three years since my diagnosis, and these past years have required so much change. My celiac disease is extremely severe, causing side effects that range from lactose intolerance to checking my shampoo for gluten—embarrassing. I have learned firsthand how much dietary restrictions suck; they are not just a change in diet, but a major lifestyle alteration. It is easy to feel extremely discouraged when you have a dietary restriction. Although I was diagnosed over three years ago, I still get fed up sometimes because it’s hard to feel like a human being when you can’t eat what everyone else is eating.
Dietary restrictions are indisputably difficult, but some scenarios have proven to be more stressful than others. There is an unspoken consensus amongst this group of “the restricted“ that the holidays are the worst. When everyone gets together, gathered around delicious food and fun treats, it is easy to feel ostracized when you can’t partake in the feast. You may also experience pressure from family members urging you to eat things that you can’t. To make the holidays a little easier, I am going to enlighten you with some of the tips and tricks I have picked up throughout my years of dietary issues, going back to even before a diagnosis, These tips will also be focusing specifically on Valentine’s Day due to it being right around the corner!
Traditionally, people are expected to pass out treats for Valentine’s Day; however if the person handing out treats doesn’t have a dietary restriction themselves, it’s unlikely that they will consider the fact that not everyone is able eat the same food. The simplest way around this would obviously be to refuse the offering, but sometimes, that’s not preferred. This can be due to lack of understanding from the one giving, because in their mind, they can’t fathom why someone would refuse candy. If you don’t feel comfortable or feel that it isn’t a convenient time to explain your situation, you can take the treat and give it to a friend! This saves you from having to deal with any confusion, and it will also benefit the recipient of your candy. This solution also allows the one giving to feel satisfied with their distribution, save you from potential embarrassment, and your friend getting a nice treat!
The expectations should be different for people that know about your situation. For example, if you are attending a Valentine’s Day party that a close friend is hosting, it’s absolutely appropriate for you to bring up your situation and request some inclusive options. You can help your friend out by providing ideas of what they could get, tagging along on a shopping trip and/or bringing a treat to share with the party. For me, I prefer to bring my own food due to the severity of my disease, but any of the aforementioned options can work just fine depending on your situation.
While Valentine’s Day is a less family-oriented holiday, you can still experience outside pressure to consume things you can’t. This can come from people directly pressuring you to try things they made for you that you don’t feel comfortable eating, brushing off your restriction as silly, or people simply lying or mistaking food as being safe for you. People tend to pressure, intentionally or unintentionally, due to ignorance or lack of education about dietary restrictions. Unfortunately, it will be up to you to choose whether you want to explain your situation or find a way to ignore them. I tend to try to brush them off, especially if you have explained multiple times why you can’t eat certain things. As much as it sucks, you are not responsible for other people’s ignorance, and you can choose to disregard their opinions and advice. People that brush off your concerns may also need a more straightforward or short response from you. This situation is difficult as well, but you absolutely have the right to remain firm and disregard their pushing and prodding. Lastly, the group I deem the most dangerous is the people that tell you that food is safe when, really, it isn’t. This can be done inadvertently or on purpose. The accidental side happens due to negligence or mistakes and is much more forgivable. I have unfortunately gotten sick because of other people’s cooking many times, and because of this, I tend to not eat things that I didn’t make myself nor watch them being made. You, again, are allowed to make this decision. It may be embarrassing and cause some tension between you and the preparer, but your safety and health is the most important thing. This dishonest group is a completely different story. While this group tends to blend with the first group, they take it a step further. This is why it is so important for those with dietary restrictions to look out for themselves. When it comes to homemade goods, you need to assume it is not safe for you and then decide whether or not it is worth the risk.
While dietary restrictions can be a major inconvenience, it shouldn’t stop you from enjoying your life, especially during the holidays. As Valentine’s Day nears, remember that you are allowed to say no, allowed to question people, and allowed to refuse food. Never expect that everyone will understand, but your health is allowed to be your top priority, and there is so much to celebrate besides food.