In my column, I aim to answer any questions regarding all things sex/relationships, etc. My answers will be based on my own experience and others to provide advice, reassurance, and hopefully break some stigmas.
“How would you communicate to your partner what feels good in bed?”
Great question. Mutual pleasure is so important when it comes to sex. Nobody wants to feel
unsatisfied with the outcome; therefore, communication is key. Depending on what feels good in bed
to you, there are multiple ways to approach this. For one, if it was something like BDSM, I would
recommend discussing it prior. Both parties must come to an agreement on what they are comfortable
with. However, if it was something like nipple play, you could introduce the idea in an intimate
session. It’s always a lot of trial and error when trying out new things with your partner; it can also be
quite intimidating asking. You’ll have to keep in mind that the initial proposal may seem daunting,
but once it’s over, then that’s when the real fun begins.
“What is your opinion on free bleeding?”
Honestly, I have not had a period in around two years now due to my coil! It’s strange, but I used to
have heavy flow with severe cramps, so ultimately, I’m happy about it. When I used to have my
period, I used tampons as I found that sanitary pads would leave me sore or become misconstrued
during the day. However, I would always free bleed on the last days of my cycle and wear dark
underwear. I do think if I was to start having my period again, I would try free bleeding, but only if I
was wearing some of those funky absorbent pants that you can wash and re-use. However, I would be
quite worried about it seeping through to my clothes due to my heavier flow. I also would love to try
using a Diva Cup as they seem popular now.
“Do I need to shave for my partner?”
The only person you should ever shave for is yourself. Not even in a girl-boss way, but like it is
literally your body, your choice. Whatever your preference matters the most. Plus, it’s not exactly a
quick job; it’s a process. Skin prep and aftercare are important if you avoid ingrown hairs and razor
bumps. Your hair or not. It’s all subjective. Shaving doesn’t make you any less of a feminist than
not shaving as it is in the choice which the power lays.
“How do I deal with the dating scene at uni?”
At first, successful. Now? Rough. I have been single for over a year now and have had many exciting
situations. I like dating. I find learning about what I want in a partner is exciting. I’m still learning
about who I am and what is good for me, so sometimes, this can be confusing. To me, it seems that
most people at uni do not want anything long-term or exclusive. Now, I’m open to anything, and I’d
never limit myself if I liked someone enough. I’m very much a hopeless romantic even though it may
seem I’m like I’m not to many. I love love. Therefore, sometimes the dating scene at uni can be quite
exhausting and take a lot from me mentally. Nobody likes feeling disposable. I was always told by my
relatives that I’d find the “love of my life” at uni; this is very much the case for some people.
However, it may sometimes feel like you’ll never find what you want. My friends always say the best
things will come when you least expect them.
Relationships can form from hook-ups, friendships, workplaces and many more. You just must be
open to the idea of trial and error, not to settle for something when you know you deserve better.
Sometimes I will keep seeing someone even though I can see the end simply because of loneliness
and attention. I don’t recommend this though as working on your energy starts with you. You can
afford to be picky and not settle as there are so many people out there and you deserve the best. Being
incompatible with someone is not a bad thing or something to stress over. Instead, it’s a learning
curve for you both.