Have you ever met someone that you truly envy? Not in a malicious way, though. In a way that you would literally pay money to be so effortlessly positive, a light in any room? In a way that you wish you could just encapsulate their energy as if it were a pill that you could take?
I wish I could confidently say that, while I sit here writing this, I am fully myself one hundred percent of the time. I would absolutely be lying though, not that I would be fooling anyone.
Do I even know who I am, though? What I like, how I react, who I am at the end of the day when it is just me, myself, and I? Not to start my journey with Her Campus and the beginning of a semester so… somber, but that just about sums me up, so let’s get into it.
Despite previous statements, I do in fact at least know what I like. I like dancing, talking a lot, reading, giving gifts, and the ocean. Beyond that, though, I am unsure, only because there is this fine line between being myself and wanting to better myself. Although self-improvement is important, ultimately wanting to be someone else is not. And while there are attributes of people I would love to gain, I do need to consider the fact of how I was created and that there are certain character traits that cannot just be taught and learned.
Know you are not alone in these feelings, though. While we may not want to admit it, it has somehow become so utterly complicated to be yourself that, when alone, I question if that is the only time I am truly me.
Find comfort in those times with yourself and know that, at the end of the day, you are who you want to be. While we may have been dished character traits from generations before, there is always the option of a new path. I am not saying it will be easy, and regression towards old habits will absolutely occur, but perseverance will succeed above all.
The world is in your hands, some people just have to work a little bit harder for it.
HXCO, Gabby