Since the start of the pandemic, I began to realize that living at home was no longer serving me. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are a huge part of my successes and they have always helped me in all aspects of my life. However, I was ready to experience new things and live a life majorly on my own. In traditional Hispanic culture, it is frowned upon to move out of your parents’ house until you’re married. When bringing up the topic of moving out to my semi-traditional parents, it was hard for them to find a reason as to why I wanted to move out. They took it personally and regardless of all the reassurance I gave them that it wasn’t their fault as to why I wanted to leave, these conversations would most always end with all of us upset. After a while, these conversations went smoother, and I was able to talk about it without experiencing much backlash from either of my parents. Here are a few tips that helped me bring up the conversation if you are having trouble getting through to your parents!
Reassurance
Remind your parents that you wanting to leave is not their fault or because of anything that they’ve done “wrong.” For me, my parents were extremely hurt that the thought of leaving ever crossed my mind, so it was even harder to get through to them. Express your appreciativeness to them for all they have done for you. Bring up certain situations too! Showing that you remember these things, no matter how small, shows that you’re not just throwing it all away or are “forgetting” about them.
Keep them updated!
This part can be hard! For me, it started with showing them apartments I was looking at or walking them through my plan – exactly how I was going to be able to afford it, where I was wanting to move, and who I was moving in with. Bringing this up when they were still upset was hard, because they wouldn’t listen or they’d try to start another argument, but after a while, it just became a thing. They would listen and offer their advice to make my move smoother. This helps by mentally preparing them that moving is something that is going to happen, which makes it better than just one day packing your things and leaving.
Quality Time
Spending a bit more quality time with your parents reminds them that you still and will always love them. You’re not leaving because you hate them, but because you’re ready. Watch your favorite movies, go to your favorite spots, and enjoy these moments while you’re all under the same roof! It creates a tighter bond that regardless of the distance that is between you, you’ll always be together and can look back on these memories.
After all, you don’t want to leave home on bad terms with your parents or have any animosity in between you. Your parents have raised you and given you the tools the succeed – now it’s time to put them to work in the real world!