For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with anxiety, specifically panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. While I have been in therapy since high school, sometimes just talking about my fears and panic attacks is just simply not enough. Coping strategies that I had learned at 16 were no longer helping with the constant fear, insomnia, lack of appetite, and general lack of enjoyment of life. My therapist had suggested medication before, but because both my mother and I had previously instilled beliefs over “harm” that medication could do to someone, I had refused. As I entered my junior year of college, however, I had simply had enough and wanted to get my life and my anxiety under control. I turned my fears of medication off and decided to give it a shot. Fast forward to a year later, and my panic attacks have substantially subsided, my obsessions and compulsions are not as severe, and my anxiety has even dissipated by a lot. Though this medication is not a cure-all, it is a better-all, and better is all I had hoped to be.
As I alluded to earlier, the reason I had not tried medication earlier was because of the stigma around it that I believed. Because I was a minor the first time my therapist suggested it, my mom shut down any talk about it over fear of any negative side effects it could cause. She also did not want me being dependent on a drug to function for the rest of my life. While I understand that side effects do exist, if its sole purpose is to help me become a better version of myself, then why not try? I eventually got my mom to see the bigger picture, and my therapist and I have currently worked out a regiment and plan to get me to my best place mentally.
I am currently taking Zoloft. This tiny yellow 100mg pill means so much more to me than just another medicine to take at night. While it does not and should not take the place of therapy, it does mean peace of mind, sleeping at night, and living my life without fear. It took me a bit to overcome this hur: mental health, health, supportdle, but I learned that my mental illness can be helped by medication, not hindered, and I hope to one day end the stigma that mental health medication has.