My Current-Self
175 Forest St
Waltham, MA 02452
17 November 2021
My Past-Self
123 History Ln
Some Town in North Jersey, 12345
Dear Marissa, My Past-Self,
[Subject Line – Nice to Speak to You Once Again!]
I will try my best not to be cliche (I can’t help it), but it is insane how fast time flies. In some ways, it feels like yesterday I was waking up to 6 AM alarms, frantically scrambling for my bookbag, then flooring my car engine so that I could make the morning bell. How’s Honors Chemistry going for you? I sure do not miss that, and I can assure you that Chemistry is not the last irrelevant struggle in store for us. And now fast forward, like a gust of hot air, I am a Junior finishing up the fall semester at Bentley University taking classes that we actually love. Each year leading up to where I am now in college was a rollercoaster, to say the least, but meant to happen for the better as it shaped who we are today.
My Freshman year was a lot more challenging than I expected — when I thought I had everything figured out, I didn’t. I was thrown into a completely new environment and forced upon a routine built-in from swimming. I was unsure of how to manage that on top of academics. I was confused about my career, who my friends were, and who I was as a person. Considering I grew up back in a ” bubble ” in New Jersey, my exposure to Bentley University’s opportunities was initially a hard pill to swallow. All these new open doors and fresh perspectives clouded my head in a massive mismatched puzzle as to which move to make next or which direction to pursue – as I was concerned about making the right choice. Who am I? I didn’t want to make a mistake. I was afraid of failure.
Then, a global pandemic hit our country hard, putting life at a pause for over a year – taking classes remotely and quarantining in our homes. I went back to the house we love and know in the rural mountains, rejoining the cow and chicken farms, the famous yet over-commercialized jersey shore, and the immaculate coffee shops at every corner. The fun extravaganzas closed down, leaving me the extra space to figure out myself and relearn what I love. Remember that seven-year-old girl we used to be? The one that was the ultimate theater geek – making her songs, playing guitar, piano, and directing her movies, then burning them on CDs? You may laugh at this now, but I revisited that girl, rekindling with my acoustics and vocals, and instead of drafting notes to songs, I began drafting journal entries. It’s interesting how things come back in a full(ish) circle. This time around, writing became my new outlet to express creativity.
I sent two of my first article drafts to the Her Campus at Bentley chapter. I received a message from a girl on the swim team who also was on the executive board at the time, telling me that “they were one of the best articles she’s read so far in her time as Editor in Chief.” My ears perked up, like hearing Carol of the Bells for the first time. No one had seen my work until I took the initiative to share my stories. After a long conversation about why we love writing, there was a realization moment where I exhaled out of a breath of fresh air. I found the missing puzzle piece.
That compliment kept me going for the next two years. I was spitting out journal entries to have written 40+ articles and got hands-on experience marketing the Her Campus Chapter as the marketing and events chair, social media director, and now president of the Executive Board. Those experiences curated a flame in me to pursue other creative on-campus opportunities. I found myself digging my nose into event planning for the Bentley Marketing Association that I am involved with today.
I am telling you this because regardless of whether you know this yet, we are incredibly passionate people, and with passion comes infinite devotion to our work. We are grinders; we keep going. With time, I was able to find my passions which led to some personal successes. Trust that with time (again, another cliche line), things will work out, even if they do not seem so in the moment.
Your world may be crumbling down on you because you didn’t drink enough ounces of water in a day. You think it would ruin your swim meet if you are “dehydrated,” and no one would talk to you ever again if you swim a poor race because of it. Ha. Or, probably because your AP Literature teacher gave you an A- on an English paper when you worked on it for over a month. Let’s put things in perspective here, and I will say this bluntly: it does not MATTER.
Unless you are thinking of making it to the Olympics, maybe not thinking so strictly about your caloric intake would benefit your performance in the water. We swim because we love the sport, we love the family atmosphere it provides us with a team, we love the structure and routine it instills on our schedule, we love that it is an outlet to our stress. We can amplify our competitiveness in an academic and work setting that stems from the pool throughout the years. Even now in college, swimming is an emotional sport, more than what you’ve seen and known. Let go of allowing a time, a numerical value, define your worth and stature in the sport – instead, focus on small and steady wins, one day at a time. Then, with slow ongoing progress, your times will resemble the hard work you put in, so don’t be so hard on yourself. You know what you are capable of because you practice six days per week with double sessions on some, and you need to channel that confidence you have to blast every event. Focus on yourself because the only person that will care if you have a good or bad race is you. Real friends will root for you at your meet, and they will be there to congratulate you regardless of whether you were happy with your race or not.
Your real friends are the ones that will be by your side no matter what, celebrating your most incredible wins inside and outside of the pool, and will be there for a shoulder to cry on when you experience your most tremendous losses. You probably are going through a hard breakup with your high school boyfriend or are having trouble finding your “people” in high school, but do not forget those there for you since day one. Consider the “friends” that aren’t sticking as a hint that maybe they are just not meant for you. Trust me; it does not MATTER.
The real friends I still consider today are a small, close-knit circle that I would not trade for the world. I’ve ironically met all of them at the start of many monumental chapters of my life: when I moved to New Jersey in 2008, my first day in college, and even from when I first stepped foot onto this earth. I anticipated being in touch with one more person to this day, someone I considered a best friend during my junior and senior years of high school. (I still have a novel she wrote to me in a high school graduation letter framed on my bedroom wall). I was heartbroken my freshman year of college seeing my roommates still face-timing their best friends because I realized my best friend was now a bittersweet memory. Us drifting apart was nothing malicious, just that she moved out west living a brand new life, and I stayed up north, continuing mine but looking onward.
People come and go all of the time throughout life. Some people are meant to stay temporarily, some are meant to stay for life, and others do not know our existence. Most people you encounter will eventually grow in their own direction as you grow in yours. Even the ones that are the best relationships you thought you had in one moment in time, like my best friend from high school I just described. When one door closes, another one opens, which means we are one step closer to the next most significant thing that doesn’t necessarily have to be another relationship. The only person who consistently has our back is ourselves. College will teach you that independence is essential because we have the freedom to make our own decisions that better our personal growth. It’s even more rewarding to achieve something knowing you did it by your initiation.
And here we are now. I am currently writing to you sitting next to my college best friends on a family room couch playing the intimate card game, “Let’s Get Deep,” and blasting our apartment to some old Katy Perry and Ke$ha songs. We have made countless memories already, from dancing until our legs snap, having family dinners together after swim practice, to seeing each other butt-naked. ;) Together, we have been through COVID isolation, cried through breakups, and ate Ben and Jerry’s ice cream to silly rom-com movies. We help each other do our hair and makeup for a first date and pat each other on the back after a great race at a meet. These girls started showing up to support me at my club events, particularly to one Content Marketing Panel that I organized as Head of Operations for the Bentley Marketing Association. They published a few articles for Her Campus. They are the people I can go to for career help, giving me cover letter advice and mock interviews throughout my sophomore year of college. I can share my goals and life-long aspirations with these girls and realize they bring out the light in me, an ambition to learn and build upon my skills to succeed in the workforce. I was able to find my mismatched puzzle piece independently, with the support of my best friends that I consider family at Bentley University.
I find deep satisfaction in building close relationships with others, working hard to achieve a goal, and being exceptionally skilled at turning those goals into realities. I am someone who thrives off of a routine in my schedule, making plans to execute a successful day every day. For instance, my years in swimming gave me the discipline to upkeep my attendance at every early morning weight room practice, every double-set swim practice, and every weekend swim meet. While managing a full course load and my extracurriculars, I learned that I thrive on a hectic schedule, as the discipline I learned enables me to plan out my day accordingly. When I am behind the block at the NE10 Championship, under high pressure, I have the adrenaline to exceed my expectations and the competitiveness to work with my team to win the conference.
During the summer after sophomore year, I learned a lot of qualities in myself that are well-suited in a fast-paced and bustling yet rewarding career path instilled through my college experiences. Putting these strengths to use in a work setting, I successfully interned at The Williams Agency. By working client-side, I became fascinated with film and production, copywriting, campaigning, and brand marketing, so much that I wanted to take one additional marketing course in the fall of my Junior year. Switching out of an art and science elective three days before the add-drop window closed in September, there was one spot left in Lee Gustafson’s class that I quickly registered for. Some may say it was a coincidence, but I say it was fate. This miraculous professor introduced me to the world of advertising, getting a glimpse of all aspects of the industry: from marketing research, media strategy, creative planning, sales, script, and proposal writing, all to pitch that proposal to an audience through a semester-long campaign project for a real-time client, JetBlue Airways. (You can view more information about my project in my portfolio).
Pause. Taking a few steps back from everything I’ve just shared, I expect you’re in disbelief, which is fine. In your place in life right now, you will not know where you fit in the world socially, athletically, and academically for a long time – not until you live the life you are destined to and learn through trial and error. It will not be all sunshine and roses; you will face adversity. When I tore my ACL playing soccer and had to decide to quit indefinitely and swim instead, I spent the following nine months of my sophomore year in high school in nonstop physical therapy. I was sacrificing pain in the recovery process for pool time, taking double the time to climb up the staircase to my bedroom, and doing the walk of shame from my desk to the classroom door five minutes before the bell to hobble to the elevator for the next period. I spent so many nights wide awake pondering every possible hypothetical situation, regretting what would have happened if I did not play the second half of the game or had I not gone to the game in the first place. I was focusing on the past, so unhappy about the situation at hand. I failed to accept that what was done is done and the only way to get through it was to change my mental habits first. After the first three months, I focused on what could go right instead of focusing on what went wrong. I acknowledged that with more time on my hands from the injury, I could invest that time from the sport into other areas in my life, like school, my hobbies, my friends, and focusing on my physical health during recovery. I was taking steps one day at a time, slow and steady. With great patience, some of the most remarkable, most rewarding outcomes happen that do not happen overnight. If I did not go through that nine-month experience, I would not have been introduced to swimming by my brother, had the opportunity to build our relationship through it, or been recruited to swim at Bentley University.
My brother, Michael, helped me through that adversity, and I encourage you to turn to our family during any time of crisis. (Family can mean friends, too). It’s not wrong to ask for help because our family loves us and wants the best for us. Understand they are not there to ridicule you; they are there as resources, as our direct support. We need to cherish them in every moment we can when everyone is together. Once you leave for college, that close-knit circle you once had the privilege to come home to after a hard day at school (although it’ll still always be there, just one phone call away) will not be physically there all of the time. If there is anything the pandemic taught me, do not take your family for granted because what you have can be gone within a blink of an eye.
There are a few takeaways here as you finish your high school years. First of all, readjust your priorities. Getting an A in Honors Chemistry is not the main priority long-term as much as it is short-term, so as much as that is important to you now, what is the most important both now and later is learning through hands-on experience. Applying all the textbook memorization, concepts, and vocabulary is the recipe to any internship requisite. You apply yourself by taking that initiative and practicing soft skills such as communication and critical and analytical thinking to get that job offer. It starts with finding that confidence in yourself, recognizing your worth to be yourself in any social situation, and being comfortable making those connections with your peers, asking questions in class, and being comfortable trying new things at school. There is risk in every new chapter of your life, and you need to learn to be comfortable taking those risks as that is the only way to grow (like what I did)!
In addition to embracing risk, we need to embrace the unknown. Instead of fearing it, we need to get excited about what’s next. Although you feel safest knowing a plan, sometimes life will give you a curveball, and you need to readjust your plan. Always prepare for the unexpected, but just know that there is no guarantee with what you set up. So, take this with a grain of salt: start every day with an open mind because even if something does not go according to plan, that does not mean something else won’t. Failure is what puts you a step closer to success, and so it is okay to mismatch some puzzle pieces to learn why they don’t go together. You’ll be much wiser knowing why they should match to other pieces. Knowing that you are one step closer to completing the puzzle.
I am excited about what’s in store for me. Although I know that there are a lot of unknowns after my college graduation, I know that I am looking forward to my future experiences. I know with whatever I do, I will make sure it’s what I am incredibly passionate about and will do it well since we devote our time to the work we love. I will do it well by goal setting and planning accordingly daily, and with my confidence and willingness to learn, I will always strive to exceed my expectations.
I can reassure you that you will be okay! You got this, and you are capable of whatever comes at you in the coming years because you are stronger than you think.
Cheers to new beginnings.
With Love,
Marissa, My Current-Self